the privilege of being a mama

There was a time when I dreaded Mother's Day. It was on Mother's Day 2009 that I realized what an incredible privilege it is to be a mom. While I still technically was a mom...and everyone so sweetly reminded me of that...there was something so horribly difficult about facing that day without my daughter. I knew I would always be Cora's mom, but I honestly didn't feel much like a mom at all. I had always taken it for granted that when we were ready to have children *boom* I would get pregnant and then I would be a mom...a happy mom with a happy little family. It wasn't until I was waking up every morning to empty arms when I ached for my arms to be full, that my eyes were opened. Yes, Mother's Day is most definitely a day to celebrate, but it is also a day full of heartache and pain for so many. 

While I don't dread Mother's Day anymore, it is a bittersweet day for me. It is a day when I am reminded of how much I miss being a mom to my baby girl but a day that I am also reminded of how thankful I am to be able to say that being a mom is my job again. It is a day that I once took for granted, but now see with new eyes. And it is a day that I hurt for all the women, who for whatever reason, are having to face Mother's Day with a broken heart.

I am privileged to be a mom. 

Right now, at this time, God has entrusted me with two boys...His calling on my life is to be a mom to my boys. If you are like me, you have often wondered what God's purpose for your life is...what is His plan for me? I want to do great things for Him. I want to fulfill His purposes in my life. While God very well may have other purposes for my life that I need to seek Him in, one thing I can be sure of is that His purpose for me at this time in my life is to be Levi and Griffin's mom. What an awesome purpose and responsibility. There is nothing I would rather do than be a mom to my boys, but sometimes I can lose sight of that if I start seeking to find purpose only outside of my home.

I remember being really challenged by a BSF home training sheet from last year about the privilege of being a parent. I dug it out over the weekend to remind myself of what it said...

It is a delightful wonder that God has chosen us to receive His gift of children and to realize that it is our great blessing to love, protect, and train them. As the years begin to go by, it is sometimes a surprise to discover that in addition to impacting a child's life God accomplishes another purpose in parenting. Through the challenges, frustrations, joys, and observation of human nature in our little ones, we, ourselves, can be personally conformed more and more to the image of our Lord Jesus Christ. What an added dimension this gives to the calling of a parent--God is using the children He has given me to mold me...

...Recognizing the place God wants you to be, being satisfied in it, and doing your part diligently are significant steps for parents. It is possible to overlook the seriousness of this privileged role. The temptation is great to respond to the world's clamoring that only outside the home can an adult do something worthwhile, fulfilling, or beneficial for mankind. And it is very easy to neglect the daily opportunities to nurture a child. (BSF International, Isaiah 2010)

As another Mother's Day rolls by, I am praying that I would remember what an incredible privilege it is to be a mama. That I would be content in the place God has called me as a parent. That I would see God's incredible purpose in my job as Levi and Griffin's mom. And that not only would the Lord use me to impact the lives of my children, but that He would also use my children to mold me. 

It is a privilege to be a mama. 

Let's never forget that.