birthday & cora's for calla
Yesterday was hard. I think it was even harder than Cora's heavenly anniversary. We just kept thinking of what we should be doing today. Celebrating Cora's two years with us. Buying presents for Cora. Having a fun two year old birthday party. But instead we were going to buy flowers to take to the cemetery. That was not fun. Cora's memorial stone was put in right before Christmas, but we still hadn't gone out to see it. We had drove by to see it from the road, at a distance, but we hadn't actually gone to the cemetery. It was too hard. Too hard to face that stone that had our daughter's name on it. Not that seeing it changes anything. But it is just so hard to actually see your child's name on a memorial stone. So emotional. So final.
We decided yesterday would be a good day to visit the cemetery. It was finally warm outside and we wouldn't have to tromp through snow to get to it. We picked up some flowers and balloons and tried to be brave. We got there and just wept. We just miss Cora so much. We miss holding her. We miss having her as part of our family day-to-day. We just miss life with her. Levi came along and helped us send two pink balloons up to his sister. Actually, he slept through the whole thing. But we wanted him to be there with us to celebrate his sister's life.
And we did celebrate Cora. We celebrated the eleven months we had with her. We celebrated how she forever has changed our lives and the lives of so many others. In the afternoon Joel had to go back to work, so my mom and sister came over for a little bit to hang out. Then we spent the evening at my brother's sub-state basketball game. We decided to keep things low-key this year.
So often on these days I wonder "why" again. Why was loosing Cora part of God's plan for my family. How can something so painful be part of His perfect and good plan? I know I will probably never understand. But it doesn't keep that question from creeping back into my mind. A friend has been reading through the HOPE book too and sent me this reminder of God's sovereignty that I really needed yesterday:
The sovereignty of God is a rock underfoot when the winds blow in our lives. It confronts what seems absurd in our existence. God's sovereignty is our greatest hope as we face an uncertain and unknown future.
"The Lord Almighty has sworn this oath: 'It will all happen as I have planned. It will come about according to my purposes. I have a plan for the whole earth, for my mighty power reaches throughout the world. The Lord Almighty has spoken--who can change his plans? When his hand moves, who can stop him?'"
Isaiah 14:24, 26-27
So, we made it through the day. Thank you for the many kind comments. There were so many people who remembered Cora's birthday and were praying us through the day and that meant so much. We got cards, e-mails, flowers, and even breakfast from our sweet friends and family. Thank you!
****************************
We are wrapping up Cora's for Call today. There are six auctions going on right now. It has been amazing to see all the money raised for Calla this week. I can't wait to tell you all the final numbers. Today will be the last day for auctions and giveaways...ending at midnight tonight. I will try to post all the giveaway winners and more information for the auction winners tomorrow. Then I will get everything in the mail next week!!
Here are the final giveaways...
One person will receive:
Toddler Dress
Two people will receive:
Felt Flower Clip
Two people will receive:
Tag-Along
Giveaway participation is free. Anyone can enter by leaving a comment on this post. As you leave your comment please remember to pray for Calla and her family! Comments will close Thursday at midnight (central standard time). The winners will be randomly selected.
Remember today is the last day for Cora's for Calla. Thank you so much to everyone who has participated in supporting Calla and her family. I will be posting all the winners tomorrow!!
185 Comments:
That Leah LaRae Toddler Dress is the cutest thing EVER!!! Praying for Calla as she adjusts to life at home, for health and stamina for her parents and brother. Also praying for you and Joel as you mourn Cora during this emotional weekend.
Prayers, always.
kelcbell@hotmail.com
Jess, I prayed for you and Joel yesterday. As I type this, listening to Moody Radio, Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise" came on, such a powerful song of God's promise. I think of you and and know that God has and will continue to comfort you throughout the many days without Cora. Blessings to you all.
Elizabeth
What a rough day...I prayed for you lots and I can only hope with each passing day you find the comfort you need.
Tara G.
That dress is AWESOME!
I thought about your family off and on yesterday.
I am so excited to hear the total amount raised for Calla!! Prayers for both of your families.
Andrea
dreanne1031(at)yahoo(dot)com
My prayers are with you and your family and Calla's family as well!
I LOVE those verses!!!
ps. those tag-alongs are adorable!
Can't imagine how hard seeing the memorial stone was! Praying for you and Joel!
praying for calla!
I can't wait to hear how much has been raised. You are such a great friend to be doing all this. I will continue to pray for Calla and her family and you and your family.
sarahmullins8@aol.com
Praying for both your family as well as Calla's. It has been such an encouragement to see your faithful walk with the Lord.
Blessings to you!
Cassie
Hugs to you, sweet friend! You are so thoughtful to do all this for Julie and Ian right now.
My heart aches for you. Praying always.
We have some friends that are going through the same situation as Calla and her family. It is so good to see the hope coming out of her story!
love the dress and the blanket
Praying for your family and Calla's.
Oh...the minky taggies look so fun!
I can't imagine how difficult it is to visit the cemetery and wish that Cora was here terrorizing her little brother and making your house noisy. The only comfort I can think of is that Jesus is reading her stories and the angels are singing her lullabies.
Praying for you, Jess, as you and Joel continue to grieve and miss Cora. I wish I had the opportunity to know you and give you a hug in person.
Thinking about you in these hard days surrounding you. Praying that Calla is doing well and her family as well.
I love those tag blankets and my baby girl would too!
Love these things!
P.S. I have a family member going through a very difficult time right now. I think that quote and verse from Isaiah will be extremely touching to her.
The tag-a-longs are super adorable. Praying for you and your family.
What a beautiful verse, I needed that perspective today.
That "Hope" quotation is so meaningful...will definitely have to remember that when I am missing someone.
I love the little taggies. So sweet! Praying for you and calla.
All are so cute!!!
tbmroberts at yahoo dot com
that toddler dress is so cute!
prayed for you yesterday. i'll never understand the "whys" of this world.
Hi, I am coming over to say hello from another blog. I haven't read her whole story yet but I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I will pray for your comfort and strength. I would love to mail you a handkerchief from my blog "For Your Tears" if you would like one. Take care & God Bless.
Praying for Calla and you! God is good.
I lost my mom when I was 10. It was so hard. I was angry for a long time but now (20 years later) I can see God's hand all over her life and death! Now she is holding one of her grandbabies up in heaven...as I miscarried at almost 11 weeks back in Jan. It just makes me squeeze my two sweet children (3 and 1) so much more :)
how amazing to see such love all over your blog.
Can I just say I love the tag blankets.
Praying for both of your families today.
Darling things.... I have been following your story since Cora's illness and I must tell you how strong I think that you are! You are an incredible person! Hang in there... there is a purpose for EVERYTHING!
Great giveaway again!
I can't wait for more updates on Calla and to hear how she progresses at home. We are praying for both your family and hers.
Maureen
maureent_todd@yahoo.com
Continuing to pray for you on your journey...
You and your family are such an inspiration. God bless, Jen (jroehl@hickorytech.net)
Love the dress. Thinking of your family!
I can't imagine going to the cemetary to visit your child's final resting place. I pray that God will give you and your family the strength to make it through such difficult times!
Also, praying for Calla! I hope and pray and that she grows strong!
Kristin Peebles
Thinking of Cora and Calla, often. Your blog is an inspiration.
furious_fitch@yahoo.com
Jess, I just can't imagine that feeling. Stay strong. We're still praying!
Praying and praying for you and Joel. So thankful that despite the grief you continually trust God and His plans.
this family is still praying :)
Thinking of you on such a tough weekend. x
Your family is always in my prayers. Such a wonderful thing that you have done for Calla and her family. And such wonderful giveaways!!
You are such an amazing mommy & I so enjoy reading your blog. You are in my prayers!
Thanks for doing this sweet thing for Calla and her family.
Mackenzie
richandmax@prodigy.net
I love those Minky & Me blankies...very cute! Still praying for you, your family and Calla's family. Always in my prayers.
Adorable giveaways. Definitely praying for Calla and also your family as you go through this difficult time.
I remember seeing our son's stone for the first time, it seemed so wrong to see his name written there ... praying that you are finding peace in our sovereign God.
praying for calla's family and yours!
Jess (Joel and Levi, too),
I am thinking and praying for you as you so fervently remember Cora this week. Your blog gives me (and surely so many others) hope. :o)
Praying for your and Calla's families.
Tracy
I am praying for you and your husband...I haven't stopped praying for you all over the past year or so that I have been reading your blog. May God Bless you and comfort you. Also, sending up more prayers for little Calla! What a cutie she is!
All of the items up you have listed are just too cute, I may have to head over to etsy to do a little shopping. :)
Love and Prayers,
Sara
Ethansmom08
With love and continued prayer,
XO*Tricia
What a blessing you and your family are to me..... thank you for being so real, so tru:D Praying for you all much love~
Praying for you and Calla and her family too. Thanks for doing so much to help their family!
Stephanie
franz4@mainstaycomm.net
Such adorable items!
~Renetta
adamandnetta@sbcglobal.net
Cutest dress ever. You have given me the cutest ideas of things I want when my husband and I have a baby.
Praying for you always.
Kelli
kkelly01@mcas.k12.in.us
Oh how I love that dress! You have put up the cutest things all for good thoughts and prayers for Calla. I also keep you in my thoughts during this tough time!
praying for everyone! what a generous friend you have been to calla and her family!
Jess, I've said it before, but you are so gracious. Though I haven't left comments often, know that Tony and I continue to remember you guys and are praying for the Johnsons as well.
Praying for your family as always!! Such a wonderful example of God's love and grace...and HOPE!
Those minky blankets are ADORABLE!!!
Praying for Calla and her family.
merandalouise04@hotmail.com
Thinking of Calla and her family...
urchiken at gmail dot com
Thank you so much for everything you have done. Prayers!!
Love the pillow case dress! Prayers are being sent up for all families dealing with loss. We lost a dear & amazing friend that was the mother of 3 young beautiful daughters this week from cancer. It is so hard to see God's plan sometimes but we must keep trusting him!
Jess, you explain your feelings beautifully. Praying for your family! And, so thanksul for the wonderful things you are doing for Calla and her family. What a blessing.
Praying for you and for Calla.....
Lindsay
Again, I read your story today, as I do with many of your blog posts with tears a' flowing as I am so touched by your strength in Christ as you have lived and continue to face the unimaginable journey that all of us so fear as parents. I don't know you personally, but I have grieved with you, celebrated with you, prayed for you and admired your faithfulness and hope in God. I know you have heard this in many comments posted on your blog, but I just wanted to remind you as you "survive" another tough day (her birthday) without Cora of how her too short life on earth has touched mine. Thanks for being so real and so open to sharing Cora (and Levi) and your story with us. Praying for peace and God's healing presence in your life and also for Calla. Hugs to you and your family.
as always, praying for sweet calla....
I'm sure Cora loved the balloons :) She may be gone but NEVER forgotten, I think of her and your family very often and send prayers your way for the strength and courage you need. It's an amazing thing you are doing for Calla too!
Another wonderful giveaway. Thank you so much for organizing this!
You are a great example of God's Grace. Thank you.
Praying for Calla and for you guys too!
Still praying!
Still thinking of Calla and your family as well.
I love the dress!! Prayers for you and Joel.
I love the minky lovies with tags. Such cute minky fabric! Praying for Calla and her family as well as you and yours.
I've been thinking about you guys!
Praying for you & Calla's family, too...
Hugs,
amy
I love that dress too! Thinking of you and of Calla and her family!
saying a prayer for your family and for calla's. . .
Our prayers continue to be with you and your precious family here and in heaven!
Blessings,
Rachel
Still praying-for your family and Calla and her family.
That dress is the most darling little dress. Always thinking of my blog's I read and the prayers they need.
So heart wrenching.Thinking and praying for your family and Calla's.
prayers. and some tears. and hope for sweet calla as she adjust to life at home.
Praying today & always.
Praying for you and your husband. -Christina
Still praying!!!
HUGS!
Thoughts and prayers during this emotional time.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers often
I love the toddler dress! Praying for you and your family and Calla.
Praying for your sweet family.
mcbwelborn(at)gmail(dot)com
Praying for your sweet family, and Calla's...
Praying for all of you...
Blessings~
So glad you are surrounded by loving and caring friends and family.
I continue to pray for Calla!
square_sessil@yahoo.com
And God created Levi....how awesome is that !!!!!!!!!!
You have been in my thoughts and prayers so much this week.
Love and Hugs to you, Joel and Levi.
Praying for your family and Calla's family!
Michelle
adamsmrfem@gmail.com
Thanks ofr helping anothe family in need. The Macs are amazing Calla and your family are in my prayers daily!
Summer & Family in California
Cute stuff.
Prayers and hugs for you. You are a strong woman and Cora and Levi are so lucky to have you as their mom.
Prayers for Calla and family as well. I hope she continues to do well!
All of Leah LaRae's stuff is adorable!!
We will continue to keep your family in our prayers.
Thinking and praying of you.
I LOVE that toddler dress...beautiful!
I thought of you and your family quite a lot yesterday. Still praying for you guys.
YOU are amazing!!! What a good friend you are. Calla and family are blessed to have you! I am so blown away by the cora's for calla...the ammount of work you have put into it as well as the wonderful donations..and of course the people that have shown their support...LOVE it!!!
becki
larae74@sbcglobal.net
I am praying for sweet Calla.
You have done such a great thing for Calla & her family! I can't wait to hear how much was raised! As always, prayers coming your way & prayers for Calla.
Praying for Calla as well as your family!
praying...
Susan Wilke
That dress is lovely.
Always praying for your family and your sweet Cora. Glad that warm weather finally mades it's way to KS. Hope it heads east soon!
Praying for you during this tough time.
Tiffany
vballtf@hotmail.com
I've learned a lot about hope, trust and waiting by reading your honest and authentic words. Thank you for sharing! Praying for your sweet family and for Calla's as well...
Praying for you as always! So glad that Calla is home and continuing to improve. We love you guys!
I think I'll finally leave a comment! I love that you've been doing this for Calla. How exciting that she is home. I hope sometime when I'm in KS, I'll be able to meet her. As always, we're thinking of you guys lots and missing Cora lots! Love you guys.
You continue to amaze me as you give so much to others, even in your time of sorrow. Remembering Cora and praying for your family.
Praying for you, and your family as well as Calla and her family. Thank you for all you did to raise money for this family! :)Christina
Adorable giveaways.
Continued prayers...Merilee
The toddler dress is adorable! It almost looks like a pillowcase dress we used to have that my daughter outgrew! Would love to have a new one!
still praying!
Praying as always! I can't wait to hear from you about the auction item I won!
God Bless!
Prayers for you. Your little guy is getting so big, he's adorable!
Thankful you have such sweet family to be with you during those extra hard days.
Soo Cute! Praying for you. Also praying for Callas as always!
These are all beautiful.I pray for you daily!Amy Mumaw
my heart aches for you... Cora's always in my heart....
Cant imagine how hard that was. Praying for all of you dear!
Those tag blankets are just adorable - along with that dress!!
Hope you had a great weekend & were able to celebrate your sweet girls birthday!
What a wonderful thing you are doing for Calla and her family. Thinking about you and your family often.
KristinSloan1@aol.com
Such cute stuff!!
Such cute things! Prayers for you and your family.
That dress is adorable.
Calla is so blessed to have a friend like you. I know that this was such an undertaking during a very stressful time. My prayers are with both of your families.
I love all three things! They are adorable!
I will say a prayer for your little family tonight.
I love the minky blanket. We are keeping you and Calla and her family in our prayers - Nichole Parrish
I know how your hearts, and arms, must ache. Thought of you guys and said many prayers for you yesterday. May He continue to hold you all close in His loving presence and shower you with His grace. {heart hugz}
I just can't imagine how difficult yesterday was for your family. Please know that just like others all around the country, we lifted you up in prayer multiple times throughout the day. May all of those prayers help to bring some comfort, peace and rest to your hearts.
Prayers for all...
Heather in IN
savingmoney2@yahoo(dot)com
I will be praying.
Continuing to pray--
-- bridgette
smilin.bridge@gmail.com
little levi is so sweet. i hate that you guys still feel so much pain but i love the HOPE you hold onto. thank you for always sharing that!
all the givaways look so awesome!
Still praying for you..I can't even imagine.
All these items are adorable!! :)
Oh, sweet girl, I know there is not a word I can saw to give you comfort. So many people you'll never know praying for you. From our mouths to God's ears as He holds you near.
"He will show you the paths of life.
In His presence is fulness of joy.
In His right hand are pleasures forever."
That's the verse I cling to since I lost my husband several months ago.
You are so very brave, and so very dear for sharing your story with us all.
Praying for y'all. Can not imagine the pain and sadness. Praying for sweet Calla. Thanks for doing all this.
now in tears....as i am when i come to your blog. i pray/think of your family often!!!
praying for sweet calla too!
melissa
I am sorry it was such a rough day for you family. I have prayed for you and your family many times.
Lori
Praying for Calla! And praying for you, Joel and Levi as you miss sweet Cora.
tomaid at yahoo dot com
So cute!! You're doing great, Jess!
Praying for Calla and you, Joel and Levi as yet another hard day has come your way. Cora is a beautiful little girl and has changed our famillies life
forever! Happy Birthday sweet baby!
Rjameson29928@yahoo.com
Love it! Praying for Calla as well as your family!
You crafters are so talented - everything that has been posted is absolutely adorable!
Tiffany tbelfo01@baker.edu
You're such a strong person. Thank you for all your inspiration for me to cherish every moment with my kiddos. I think of Calla everday and pray for her to be healthy and happy with her family :)
Happy Birthday Sweet Cora.
God Bless you Jess and your family.
What beautiful things...we will be praying for Calla and her family.
Prayers for you. I can't imagine going through what you do every day. Blessings!
GOD Bless...you have touched so many!
Prayers to Calla and her family
Love the Minky Tag blanket! I think it would be great for my sweet baby girl who will be arriving any day now!
Lisa
We are still praying!!!
We love Calla,Levi and Miss Cora:)
Praying hugs to you today. And so rejoicing about Calla being home with her family.
I love the verse quoted. I have read Hope also...sorry for the hard days. God's sovereignty holds redemption for your pain.
God bless..
The Gibsons
heathergibson5@mac.com
Still sending prayers for Julie & Ian and their two little gifts.
Prayers for your family, as well.
Prayers are still being sent.
continued thoughts and prayers for call and her family...
Beautiful stuff :)
I think of Cora a lot, even though I've never met y'all. My sister was expecting when I first read about Cora through someone else's blog. We all live together so I tell Emmy all the time how much I love her and I try not to let other distractions come between spending time with her. That's how Cora has impacted my life (& Emmy's).
Praying for Calla, and for your family always.
What a great reminder of God's sovereignty. I'm gonna post that on my facebook.
I thought about you and your family all day on Cora's b-day and I don't even know you guys but I feel as if I do. You are such an amazing woman and I am so glad to know you through your blog.
Praying for you!
brianna@keyway.net
love to your family and calla
tan_0924@yahoo.com
Oh I love those taggie blankets!
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Ashley
I love the toddler dress!
Happy Birthday to your sweet daughter Cora. Her beautiful face always reminds me to be grateful for everything I have in this life. I am praying for your family during this tough time.
Cindy H.
praying for Calla!
Prayers for sweet Calla.
Laura
rossandlaura@comcast.net
Praying for your family and Calla, today and always.
My heart aches. Prayers are with you and for you. With grief and hope.
I could buy EVERYTHING that Leah LaRae makes.
Praying for Cora and Calla's mommies. =)
beautiful things. especially cora. :) praying for you and your family!
I can't imagine how tough the day was for you. I know it might not seem like it at the time, but well done for facing up to these difficult days so bravely. On our tough days, we close the curtains, ignore the phone and go to bed early. Sending lots of love, Sue x
Praying for Calla and also for you and Joel.
Oh my! My little guy LOVES tags! He seeks out the tags on everything and a little minky tag blanket would be so perfect for him! We are still praying for Calla and praying for you as you miss your little Cora on her birthday!!
My youngest loves the tags! He is my cuddler too! Prayer for everyone always!
Jess and Joel,
My heart was weepy on Friday..... I prayed for PEACE in your hearts and mind..... I just couldn't get myself to type anything on Cora's Birthday...... I wanted to be positive and strong in my faith and remember everything you have said and what we have learned from you all........ but....... tears were the only thing I came up with for that day..... Just know we love you and think of you from a far EVERY day! You once again have made it through another day and were able to celebrate your wonderful time with her...... YOU are such wonderful parents and people and I know God will always be there along with Cora to guide you and keep you strong and ABLE to make it through to the next day!
Love to you all!
AMIE
your little lady has such an amazing legacy and its part of God's legacy!
Third Day has an AMAZING song (and I'm sure you've heard it before) called "Cry Out To Jesus"
so powerful!
so much healing in that song.
I'm reading this late at night, pregnant with our third child, I have 2 year old daughter and 8 month old son. I do know grief having lost my mom to cancer as a young girl. My heart aches for your family. Thanks for your heavenly perspective and for sharing your heart here. I'm going to go kiss my kids fast asleep in their beds. Every moment with them is a gift, and our lives are truly a vapor. (James 4:14)
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