birthday & cora's for calla

Yesterday was hard. I think it was even harder than Cora's heavenly anniversary. We just kept thinking of what we should be doing today. Celebrating Cora's two years with us. Buying presents for Cora. Having a fun two year old birthday party. But instead we were going to buy flowers to take to the cemetery. That was not fun. Cora's memorial stone was put in right before Christmas, but we still hadn't gone out to see it. We had drove by to see it from the road, at a distance, but we hadn't actually gone to the cemetery. It was too hard. Too hard to face that stone that had our daughter's name on it. Not that seeing it changes anything. But it is just so hard to actually see your child's name on a memorial stone. So emotional. So final. 

We decided yesterday would be a good day to visit the cemetery. It was finally warm outside and we wouldn't have to tromp through snow to get to it. We picked up some flowers and balloons and tried to be brave. We got there and just wept. We just miss Cora so much. We miss holding her. We miss having her as part of our family day-to-day. We just miss life with her. Levi came along and helped us send two pink balloons up to his sister. Actually, he slept through the whole thing. But we wanted him to be there with us to celebrate his sister's life. 

And we did celebrate Cora. We celebrated the eleven months we had with her. We celebrated how she forever has changed our lives and the lives of so many others. In the afternoon Joel had to go back to work, so my mom and sister came over for a little bit to hang out. Then we spent the evening at my brother's sub-state basketball game. We decided to keep things low-key this year. 

So often on these days I wonder "why" again. Why was loosing Cora part of God's plan for my family. How can something so painful be part of His perfect and good plan? I know I will probably never understand. But it doesn't keep that question from creeping back into my mind. A friend has been reading through the HOPE book too and sent me this reminder of God's sovereignty that I really needed yesterday:

The sovereignty of God is a rock underfoot when the winds blow in our lives. It confronts what seems absurd in our existence. God's sovereignty is our greatest hope as we face an uncertain and unknown future.

"The Lord Almighty has sworn this oath: 'It will all happen as I have planned. It will come about according to my purposes. I have a plan for the whole earth, for my mighty power reaches throughout the world. The Lord Almighty has spoken--who can change his plans? When his hand moves, who can stop him?'" 

Isaiah 14:24, 26-27

So, we made it through the day. Thank you for the many kind comments. There were so many people who remembered Cora's birthday and were praying us through the day and that meant so much. We got cards, e-mails, flowers, and even breakfast from our sweet friends and family. Thank you!

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We are wrapping up Cora's for Call today. There are six auctions going on right now. It has been amazing to see all the money raised for Calla this week. I can't wait to tell you all the final numbers. Today will be the last day for auctions and giveaways...ending at midnight tonight. I will try to post all the giveaway winners and more information for the auction winners tomorrow. Then I will get everything in the mail next week!! 

Here are the final giveaways...

One person will receive:

Toddler Dress

Leah LaRae Baby

Two people will receive:

Felt Flower Clip

Festive Frills

Two people will receive:

Tag-Along

Minky & Me

Giveaway participation is free. Anyone can enter by leaving a comment on this post. As you leave your comment please remember to pray for Calla and her family! Comments will close Thursday at midnight (central standard time). The winners will be randomly selected.

Remember today is the last day for Cora's for Calla. Thank you so much to everyone who has participated in supporting Calla and her family. I will be posting all the winners tomorrow!!