The Macs

Monday, March 21, 2011

not the monday i planned

Just a quick hello on Monday.
Today was full of all things I had not planned.
I had planned on getting caught any normal Monday.
Cleaning my house...
making food for company tomorrow night...
and taking time to go over what I am sharing tomorrow with a MOPS group.

Instead most of my day was spent comforting this poor baby.
He is still fighting some sickness.
So we went to the doctor today instead.
Levi has ear infections now too.
Yuck. No wonder he has been so grouchy.

I did manage to get a smile or two out of him despite the many tears.
It is hiding behind that pacifier that he is not really supposed to have.
But a sick baby needs his pacifier to get through the day.

Now Levi is sound asleep and I am taking some time to think and pray about tomorrow. As I was reading through my notes I was struck by how one of the same struggles I am sharing about, was a struggle again today. Since we welcomed Levi into our family he has brought so much joy into our lives. But along with the joys has come a whole new realm of trusting God for me. I easily could life my life as a sad, worried, and over-protective mom after losing Cora. I get a pit in my stomach every time we visit the doctor...which happened again today. Sometimes it is hard for me to even hold back the tears because I don't know if I am being a paranoid mom or if Levi is really sick. Thankfully Levi's pediatrician is so patient with me. So again today, I had to pray that I would embrace the fullness of who Jesus is - the ultimate answer to my deepest needs. He is faithful and by my side through every ear infection and doctor visit. He understands my fears and tears. May I always be faithful to trust Him.

Not the Monday I planned, but a good reminder of something God has continually been working on in my heart. And I got in some extra cuddling time with my little Levi. He is so busy these days I need to take advantage of every moment...cuddling doesn't happen very often any more. If you have time would you say a prayer for me tomorrow morning as I share? I am praying that the Lord would use His truths that I have been standing firm on to encourage the ladies who are there tomorrow.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jess, I will be lifting you up in prayer tomorrow. Sweet dreams, friend!

March 21, 2011 at 11:04 PM  
Blogger Janet Rhea said...

You are in my prayers, as you and your family have been for many months. I am also praying that your sweet son soon feels better.

March 22, 2011 at 2:20 AM  
Blogger Immeasurably More Mama said...

Praying this morning, Jess!

March 22, 2011 at 5:41 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Praying for you and sweet Levi :)

March 22, 2011 at 5:45 AM  
Blogger Toni :O) said...

Awww...poor Levi, I hope he's on the mend soon and I will certainly be praying for you today....good luck, you'll do GREAT!!

March 22, 2011 at 6:32 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Praying for you & Levi!!
I get our kids chiropractic adjustments & it takes care of ear infections - are there any good pediatric chiro's in your area? And with each adjustment, it boosts their immune system.
Just food for thought :)
I will pray he is much better today!

March 22, 2011 at 7:07 AM  
Blogger Missy said...

Just prayed for you! I know those ladies will be so thankful to have heard what you have to say. Thanks for allowing God to use you and your story. And prayers for Levi's ears!

March 22, 2011 at 7:08 AM  
Blogger Wanting What I Have said...

Praying for you this morning!

March 22, 2011 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger lauren haddox said...

last night i was reading in psalms and i jotted down this verse..."he will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." psalm 112:7

having a child has brought trusting the Lord to a whole new level...praying God would speak through you today!

March 22, 2011 at 7:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jess, I know and understand the fear that you have inside when your precious Levi is sick. My sweet daughter, Claire, died of SIDS 14 years ago last month. Our life was shattered, but God never left our side. When our daughter, Alyssa, was born two years after Claire's death, I was so worried that I would lose her too. But, the unbelievable peace that God gave me, made me realize that Alyssa was going to be ok. And, she, she is a beautiful, sweet 12 year old. God is so good! xoxox

Melanie Martini
Rochester, MN

March 22, 2011 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger The Boccias said...

Praying for you. See you soon!

March 22, 2011 at 8:07 AM  
Anonymous Sue said...

Just prayed for you! After losing Cora, I don't know how you couldn't have the fear that you do. Any mother would. When I prayed for you this morning, I also prayed that you would always have the peace that can only come from Him- and that Levi would always be an especially healthy guy.

As always, your faith and your heart are beautiful. You are a wonderful witness for Jesus.

March 22, 2011 at 8:32 AM  
Anonymous Susy M. said...

Jess, you will do great and shine in the glory of the Lord. Levi, get well quickly because we all want you 100%. You make us all a little happier.

March 22, 2011 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Praying for you and your sweet boy to feel better, too!

March 22, 2011 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

I couldn't imagine being in your shoes. I think the view you take on life is incredible. Kudos to you. I'm sorry your little boy has an ear infection, yuck. Hopefully that little sweetie will start feeling better soon.

March 22, 2011 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

hope that levi feels better soon! and praying that you are an encouragement for lots of mamas today. :)

March 22, 2011 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Jess, you are the kind of mom I hope I am. My baby girl will be one this Thursday and when I check in on your blog, you always remind me of what is important in life. Thank you. I am praying for you.

March 22, 2011 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger Susan Sutherlin said...


March 22, 2011 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Allison said...

Whenever you post about taking Levi to the doctor, I think about how hard that must be. How could it not be? Blessings to you as you continue to find a balance between worry and trust.

March 22, 2011 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

Praying for you Jess. May our God surround you with an undescribable peace as you speak with your group. God Bless you and your family.

March 22, 2011 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger Kylie and crew. said...

Jess....I can only imagine what sickness in Levi does to your heart. My daughter Cora had 103 fevers yesterday and Tylenol would do nothing! You crossed my mind...what if there is more to Cora's sickness....thankfully today it's better but just from reading blogs I have to battle fear that creeps in and continually give my family to the Lord! Oh this life we live...constant growing and surrendering. I'm thankful we serve a patient God!

Praying for you this morning!

March 22, 2011 at 11:34 AM  
Blogger The Moffats said...

Praying for you, Jess. I'm sure the Lord used you mightily and spoke through you. Sorry to hear that Levi is sick again :( Hopefully the nice weather will be here soon and the sickness will be long gone! Love and hugs, friend.

March 22, 2011 at 12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you.... have you heard this song? Thought you'd enjoy it. You would especially appreciate the story behind the song.

March 22, 2011 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger laney said...

...go look out your window...the whole sky is filled with prayers for you...

March 22, 2011 at 4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will be praying tomorrow. Jess, your honesty is always such a blessing to me. I don't think anyone who reads your blog or who knows your story could imagine you feeling any different about going to the drs. office. Enjoy your ex tra cuddle time with little Levi. My sweet boy is 14 and I swear he was one just the other day!!

March 22, 2011 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

feel better little Levi!

March 22, 2011 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Marla Taviano said...

Praying for you, Jess. That must be soooo hard when Levi is sick. Praying for peace for you and quick healing for your precious little guy.

March 22, 2011 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger Brooke said...

prayers....your words have a way of touching me. You put things in perspective and make me look to God more. You are an amazing person and thank you for sharing your life.

March 22, 2011 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger Kelly McG said...

I have been reading your blog for a while and I don't think I have ever commented. My twins were born just after your Cora and every time I take them to the doctor I think about your sweet Cora. I can only imagine what it must be like to parent another child after a loss, I tear up thinking about your pain. I pray that God can continue to give you peace and faith. Big hugs.

March 22, 2011 at 11:00 PM  
Blogger Chad and Jody said...

I open this blog up often, but today I was struck at how old Levi looks today! What a cutie!

March 23, 2011 at 4:43 PM  
Anonymous the sleepy time gal said...

that poor little guy! i hope he recovers speedily.

and i just wanted to tell you that the green fabric you asked about on the sleepy time gal is from IKEA!

nice to meet you.

March 23, 2011 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Baby Kate's Mom said...

Aww, poor little guy! Even though they look nothing alike he reminds me of my almost nine month old! Especially the crying one LOL! Prayed for you Tuesday, along with continuing to pray for you daily.

Hugs from Florida,
aka babykatesmom

March 24, 2011 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I have been following your story since Cora was in the hospital. I remember crying and praying for you and your family every time I visited your blog at that time. Today when I was reading about Levi's doctor visit and the ear infection, my stomach got tighten up as well. But thanks be to God that we know Him and we know His love and that He has a purpose for all that is taking place in our lives. I will continue to pray for little Levi, and you and your husband - and yes, cuddling time is short especially for boys. Enjoy him while you can still "hold him down". :)

March 24, 2011 at 5:32 PM  

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