The Macs

Monday, August 24, 2009

still standing

Somedays I wonder how I can keep going. I wonder how I can keep moving forward without Cora and with this huge hole in my heart. It makes me so sad to think it has been six almost seven months that we have continued through life without Cora alongside us. I hate that time is moving forward without her here. But then I marvel at the fact that it has been six almost seven months that I have lived through this dark storm and I am still standing.

Yesterday as we worshipped in church, the words of these songs seemed to jump off the screen at me. I think I needed a reminder of why I am still standing. A reminder that Christ alone is my solid ground through this fierce storm. And because of this living hope, He gives me a reason to keep moving forward.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

(In Christ Alone)

Jesus You're my firm foundation 
I know I can stand secure
Jesus You're my firm foundation
I put my hope in Your holy Word
I put my hope in Your holy Word

I have a living hope
I have a future
God has a plan for me
Of this I'm sure
Of this I'm sure

(Firm Foundation)

I pray that whatever you are facing today, that you too would find your feet standing secure--

in Jesus, our firm foundation.


Blogger Tricia said...

Beautifully written. God indeed provides for our every need.

With Love and Prayers,

August 24, 2009 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Ethansmom08 said...

Very Beautiful...and so very true!

Praying for you,

August 24, 2009 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Claudia said...

I absolutely love this song!!!!

What a great reminder, thank you so much.

August 24, 2009 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Janice said...

So very true.

August 24, 2009 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Beautiful! Thank you for this reminder!!!

August 24, 2009 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger anonymous said...

That's my all time favorite song. It moves me to tears every time I hear it or sing it. What a wonderful anthem for our lives.

I don't know you IRL, but I was following your blog 7 months ago and have prayed for you often since then. I'd like to think I could handle such a huge loss with as much faith as you have. Cora is blessed to have you for her mommy.

August 24, 2009 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Ash said...

Your strength and courage is such a testimony. When I click on your blog, it so hard for myself, even a stranger to look at the pictures of your beautiful daughter and know you are without her. I can not fathom what you have gone through and as a mother, I know my heart would be devastated.

Your faith is a testimony and I will continue to pray for the gradual healing and kind touch of the Father's hand to guide you through your days ahead. I'm not sure where you live at this time besides somewhere in Kansas, but I grew up just south of Wichita about 60 miles and now live in Overland Park.

I know a lot of people are excited to see how the little life inside of you will bring such a new joy and hopeful healing to you guys. Take care and much love from a fellow sister in Christ.

August 24, 2009 at 10:29 AM  
Blogger Missy said...

thanks for sharing! such encouragement. if your still standing after all you've been through...then i can too ;)

love and prayers!

August 24, 2009 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger Courtney and the Boys said...

Thank you SO much for this. I learned earlier this morning that I have to put my dog to sleep, and my heart is broken. But I will still the love of Christ. God bless you in your journey, and thank you for your testimony.

August 24, 2009 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

So beautifully put, your strength and courage astounds me. If you and your family can still be standing, it puts new encouragement in my heart. Thank you for the reminder.

August 24, 2009 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger A said...

Ive been reading for a while but have never commented. I just want you to know that you are such an inspiration to me! I am so glad you are still standing. :)

August 24, 2009 at 11:06 AM  
Blogger Beki - TheRustedChain said...

I, too, am amazed that you're still standing.

I'm quite certain I would not have your strength.

I've told you this before, but nearly every worship song now has a different meaning to me. Particularly those you chose for Cora's celebration service.
My eyes have been opened like never before.

I hate that it had to happen, but God is working through Cora and your family.

August 24, 2009 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Marla Taviano said...

LOVE that song! Praying for your hurting heart!

August 24, 2009 at 11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN!! The Lord has used you so much this year in helping to bring healing to my life after the loss of our son almost 3 years ago. I am so thankful He has given me this healing! Thank you for being willing to be used by Him! I pray that some day you may experience that awesome healing power HE alone can give.

Ps this is not to say I don't still hurt but I can now move on with JOY and HOPE and PEACE! It is truely wonderful!

August 24, 2009 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger Trasie Bressler said...

Thanks for sharing and I know that with all that you have gone through and you are still standing then I know that I can too!!!

August 24, 2009 at 12:56 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

i don't know how people get through life without Christ being their foothold and strength.

August 24, 2009 at 1:12 PM  
Blogger ........ said...

I still pray for you daily you know...Though I never knew Cora in person I think of her often, maybe because my baby girl is close to her age. I see her smile in my mind alot when my daughter smiles. Honestly, for a little girl I never knew, she sure has left an impression on my heart. So have you, and Joel. I know you didn't set out to inspire anyone and I know you would gladly trade the admiration to have your baby girl back but I am so thankful to have gotten to "know" you and Cora through this. I pray that all will be well with this baby you are expecting and I pray that your's and Joel's hearts will be blessed with peace and healing. Just know that the world has not forgotten your Cora and we are all praying for you as you continue to grieve while at the same time going on with life...

August 24, 2009 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Sherryl said...

You are still standing because you still have a purpose in this world - to be the great mom that you were to Cora yet again to another little baby.

Take it one day at a time.

August 24, 2009 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger LakeLady said...

Only Christ offers safe harbor in the tragic sea of grief.

August 24, 2009 at 1:44 PM  
Blogger Falling Around said...

Love that song.

I continue to be amazed by your strength through moving forward without sweet Cora. Your strength is a miracle only God can provide and an inspiration to us all.

Love & Prayers,

August 24, 2009 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger Kelli said...

This is my very favorite song!! It's truth is powerful!! Praying for you and your husband!!!

August 24, 2009 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Juliann said...

Praise the Lord, Amen. Jesus IS the name above all names. Without him, we truly have no hope. Thank you for sharing your faith with me.

August 24, 2009 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger lil misses' mama said...

You are so courageous. My family and I sung In Christ Alone last week at my grandfather's memorial service. It is a song full of hope, which is what I pray that you will hold onto as you maneuver the days and months ahead. I know that that song has helped give me anchor as I miss my grandfather so very much and it has only been one week since he left for Heaven. God's blessings on your family forever.

August 24, 2009 at 2:29 PM  
Blogger Sharon said...

It's so true, we never can stand on our own. Please feel lifted by so many prayers that are being sent your way!

August 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Through you pain You are still being an inspiration..How true your words are. You continue to amaze me with you faith, strenth.

I think about you and your Cora everyday, multiple times a day.


August 24, 2009 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Krystal said...

That song never fails to leave me humbled AND encouraged. Thank you for sharing your heart. I love the opportunity to pray for others, though of course I wish we didn't live in a sinful world full of pain and suffering. Heaven sure looks good, doesn't it!?!

August 24, 2009 at 4:10 PM  
Anonymous Karina said...

I wish I could believe that. I am so glad, for your sake, that you do! Given my lack of faith, I'm certain that losing a child would kill me; I don't know how anyone in your position copes without the sense of a greater power in their lives. I take comfort in your faith for your sake - and that, too, is very inspirational.

August 24, 2009 at 7:01 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Absolutey beautiful!!! I pray for you and your family every day.. I can't imagine your pain. THINKING of you!!!!

August 24, 2009 at 7:44 PM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

This song has always been a favorite of mine. The message is so strong. It just fills me with hope for things that seem uncertain and difficult.

You have been on my mind and heart and in my prayers everyday for these last six almost seven months since Cora went to heaven. I sometimes marvel at the grief I continue to feel for somebody I have never met.

May He grant you joy. May He grant you peace.

Love and Hugs to you and Joel.

August 24, 2009 at 8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Preying for you

August 24, 2009 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger sassy said...

hello macs,
your strength and love and lessons are shared so beautifully.....lessons for life for all, thank you in so many ways.
wish we could have met you for ice cream when you were here in Canada!
sassy in SK (besdie AB)

August 24, 2009 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger Danyele Easterhaus said...

i love that speaks volumes to me each time i hear those words!

"No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand", that is hope! praise god!

August 24, 2009 at 9:01 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

I think about you guys daily...I am continually praying for you as you weather this journey. SO thankful you are finding strength in Christ - our shelter - we sang a song in church this weekend called "Made Me Glad" by Hillsong. It's powerful, and I think you might like it if you don't know it already. My heart is continually so burdened for you is teaching me to truly give ALL that I am to the Lord - that my children are not mine, but can be so hard to do. Thank you for your faithfulness, honesty, and true testimony to Christ. I am praying for your sweet Mama's heart - for healing - and for a growing love and joy for the precious gift growing inside you. With Love, Joy

August 24, 2009 at 9:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for awhile but don't comment a lot. I just wanted to let you know that I keep you and your family in my prayers.

August 24, 2009 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I found your link on safe Haven.. and I must say what a great song.. I lost my daughter in may..she was 9 months old.. it is so hard..the day to day with out her is awful..people always say "I don't know how you do it" I always say back to them "by the grace of our God.." because if it were just me, I would never get out of bed..the playground is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to precious your daughter..

August 24, 2009 at 9:28 PM  
Blogger jenjensden said...

To me, "In Christ Alone" is the most powerful song we ever sing in church. Every time we sing it I say I'm not going to cry and when we get to the verse about Him rising from the dead on the third day, Jesus' sacrifice and His overcoming death is so real to me, and tears always flood.

I am constantly amazed by your faithfulness. The peace, joy and beauty that you exhibit through this blog, and I'm sure throughout your life, is definitely Jesus shining through you -- there could me no other explanation after all you've been through. I'm so glad you have Jesus as your firm foundation.

August 24, 2009 at 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Cristy said...

So very true! You are the perfect example Jess.

((Hugs)) and love...


August 24, 2009 at 10:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I definitely needed that today-thank you for sharing!

August 24, 2009 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger Ang said...

I pray for you often. I know you don't know me, but I follow your blog and your little girl is just precious! I am so sorry for the hurt that your family has endured. I may have already posted this request to you. I have tried to ask as many people as I can especially considering the path your lives have taken. But if you get a chance can you go to my blog and scroll down to read the 'tragic' post? This family too needs much prayer. Thank you!! my blog address is

August 24, 2009 at 10:20 PM  
Blogger Liana said...

you are AMAZING. Stay strong. Your witness and openess (once again) has moved me to tears. I think of your family often.

August 24, 2009 at 10:31 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

That is such a powerful song! May you continue to be blessed as you bless others through your own growth, stretching, healing...

August 24, 2009 at 11:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love this song as well...

also...when I suffered the loss of a much desired pregnancy in 2007...the Lord comforted me with Blessed Be Your Name...

the brokenness then, He used to make me stronger now...I then lost my much beloved grandmother(mother) September of that same year...and I broke...yet He held me..

And I's all Him...and I love Him...

May He strengthen you...hold you, encourage only He can and does...

blessings, and thank you for your testimony..


August 25, 2009 at 12:08 AM  
Blogger Maple Memories said...

Still praying. Daily.

August 25, 2009 at 7:50 AM  
Blogger Hailey said...

You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Hailey in NC

August 25, 2009 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

I have never left a comment, even though I read your blog pretty much every day and have now since before Cora's illness. And I have never, never checked your blog from work. But for some reason today I did...and now I know why. I needed to read those words to that song because today is a day that I need to be reminded of that. THANK YOU...MANY HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! Praying for all of you!

August 25, 2009 at 12:47 PM  
Anonymous Robin in Benton said...

Thinking of you and praying for you today. With God's help you will continue to stand and mover forward.

August 26, 2009 at 8:24 AM  
Anonymous Adrian said...

What an amazing mother you are! I can't imagine the heartache you must go through.. I don't have a blog of my own just yet, but I saw your blog through a friend's and I was so touched to read your story. Know that you and Joel are in my prayers as you deal with the loss of Cora and the joy of bringing a new life into this world and your strength is a inspiration to so many! With Love, Adrian

August 26, 2009 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Angie said...


August 26, 2009 at 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Sheila said...

Your strength amazes me and I pray daily for you and your family!! Thanks for the reminder that Christ rises above all storms!

August 26, 2009 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger The Pike Family said...

Hello there :)
I have been reading your blog for awhile now but I have never posted..I dont know why? Probably because I live in AZ and you have no idea who I am :) but I just want you to know that you are amazing...truly! Thank you for all the inspiration!
XOXO Julie

August 26, 2009 at 3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey I nominated you for an award CHECK my blog!!!

August 27, 2009 at 7:57 PM  
Blogger Raising Koehns said...

We sing Firm Foundation at our church a lot (in fact, we sang it today). It is a short song, but oh, so powerful! Keep inspiring us all. Can't wait to see pictures of Baby Mac!

August 30, 2009 at 2:56 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

My FAVORITE SONG! It is so try and speaks to what you are going through. Thinking of you.

September 3, 2009 at 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Nan in Can said...

That first one is one of my all time faves. So much truth and beauty... Keep standing. But when you fall, you know whose arms you fall into. "His power is made perfect in weakness..."

September 4, 2009 at 5:24 PM  

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