I saw you too, Lord

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, 

and the train of his robe filled the temple.

Isaiah 6:1

I love it when you are learning something about God and everywhere you go He seems to remind you of that specific truth. I have been attending Bible Study Fellowship this year and I am absolutely loving it. My head sometimes feels like it is going to burst because I am learning so much. We are studying Isaiah and this past week we were learning about the holiness and glory of the Lord. Isaiah saw a vision of the Lord. He saw a God who is like no other. I walked away challenged to ask myself this question: Do I have a vision of the Lord? If I do, it will change my life. I couldn't get that out of my head. I want to have a vision of the Lord. I want my life to be changed by Him. How do I get there?

Then last night Joel and I were at church for the dress rehearsal for Judgement House. We have been a part of this ministry for the last three years, but this year the story became very personal to us. In fact it wasn't just a story. As we watched the drama last night we felt every emotion. We had been the parents standing outside the hospital room when the doctor said there was nothing else he could do for their daughter. She wasn't going to make it. For us, it was real life.

This year our Judgement House script is Hannah's Hope. It is the true story of a teenage girl who lost her six month battle with cancer. But Hannah and her family did not fall into despair when facing death. Their testimony of faith and unwavering hope in Jesus through their storm is amazing. I am so challenged by this young girl's strength and by her parent's continued trust in the Lord. Hannah has left behind an incredible legacy and her story continues to reach so many. This year her story is even reaching Newton, Kansas.

At the end of our time together last night, we read an excerpt from Deb's journal. I was so touched by her words:

...You know Lord, I have heard it said many times - even this week - that so much fruit has come from Hannah’s journey. In the deepest recesses of this mother’s heart, I pray we have not seen anything yet. As I stood at her grave yesterday morning after sharing with a middle school FCA, I asked you again to bring forth much fruit from this kernel of wheat that has fallen into the ground and died. When we stop missing Hannah every day and thinking about her all the time, perhaps I will stop asking You to bring forth fruit from her life. No, don’t count on it. We want every single bit of fruit You desire to bring forth and for as long as we have breath in our bodies we will continue to ask. We ask it not only through Hannah’s life but through the lives of her brothers - whose cost has also been high.

I am a spectator in this arena called earth, Lord, and I want to see You in all Your glory! And I think You want us to see You in all Your glory! Isaiah saw You -  he saw You the year King Uziah died - I saw You too, Lord - the year Hannah died. You have changed me - I never want to be the same again. I never want to go back to life as usual - I never want to settle for less than all You have for me. When we see You, Lord, You transform us. You do it over and over again through Your word! You deepen our understanding of who You are - of how big You are!...

I loved that she said, "I saw you too, Lord - the year Hannah died." And I saw the Lord too - the year Cora died. The Lord has changed me and I echo Deb's words, I never want to be the same again. I never want to go back to life as usual - I never want to settle for less than all You have for me. I too pray that as long as I have breath I would be faithful to use Cora's story for His glory, that I wouldn't stop asking Him to bring forth the fruit that He desires from her short little life. I may not have physically seen God, but through Cora's death I have seen aspects of His in His Word and in His works...and I am forever changed. I hate that Cora died, but I love that He is changing me and using Cora's life to change the lives of people around me.

I am praying as Judgement House approaches this week that the Lord will continue to use Hannah's story to draw people to Himself. That many will come to understand true HOPE that can only be found in Jesus.