a heavenly anniversary

Never look ahead to the changes and challenges of this life in fear.  Instead, as they arise look at them with the full assurance that God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them.  Hasn't He kept you safe up to now? So hold His loving hand tightly and He will lead you safely through all things. And when you cannot stand, He will carry you in His arms.

Do not look ahead to what may happen tomorrow. The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you His unwavering strength that you may bear it. Be at peace, then, and set aside all anxious thoughts and worries.

Francis de Sales

One year.

It is hard to believe my baby has been gone for that long.

On one hand it seems like it has been forever since I last got to hold her. I hate that feeling. But on another hand it seems like just yesterday we learned of her cancer and started fighting for her life. Either way, my heart aches today in a way that I can't even describe to you.

It has been a year of sorrow. A year that I would have never chosen to walk through. A year that I could not have even begun to imagine. A year that I really didn't think I could even live through. But in the deep darkness, the Lord gave us, and continues to give us, His unwavering strength to bear each day. And on those days when I didn't think I could stand, He was always faithful to carry me. The same was true even today, a day I have been dreading for weeks.

So, here we are on Cora's heavenly anniversary. Praising God that she is in His arms and that we can live in HOPE of seeing her again. But, at the same time missing Cora like crazy.

What do you do on a day like today?

Honestly, we don't even know. Nothing seems quite right.

We decided to be low key today. Unfortunately Joel had to work part of the day, but the rest of the day we just spent together as a family. We gave our little Levi lots of extra hugs. He is such a blessing and was a wonderful distraction for us today.

Last night I made some yummy cupcakes cupcakes. This is becoming a trend for me. Cupcakes must make me feel a little better when I am sad. Sweets always make things better, right? I ate three today just in case.

I made lots of cupcakes. We decided that as we remembered our sweet Cora today, we wanted to take time to thank the many people who took such good care of her while she was sick. While we were in the hospital with Cora we met so many amazing people. During an incredibly horrific time in our lives, they made us feel so loved and taken care of. They loved Cora so well.

After Cora died we didn't get a chance to tell them thank you. We thought today would be the perfect day to do just that.

I packaged up the cupcakes and attached beaded hearts with thank you tags. Joel and I took a few to Newton today. It was "something" we could do as we remembered Cora today. The rest were delivered to the hospital by a friend. We weren't feeling up to walking back into the hospital today. 

We hung out around the house this afternoon. And we went out to eat this evening. That was our day. Nothing special. It may look different next year. But, as I write this we have almost made it through Cora's first heavenly anniversary. 

Just like every other day this past year, we have felt so loved today. We can't believe how many people remembered the significance of this day. We have had so many cards, e-mails, and phone calls from people just to remind us that we are loved and prayed for. You all have been such an encouragement to us today. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Thank you for continuing this journey with us. We are thankful for how far the Lord has brought us this year--a year we didn't know if we could survive--and anticipating what He has in store for our family in the year to come!