easter
Honestly, I have been dreading Easter for weeks now. I knew I would miss Cora more than ever today. I knew it would make me sad to see all the other little girls in their pretty Easter dresses. I knew that I would wonder if Cora would have been toddling around looking for Easter eggs with her cousins. I knew that church would be hard. I knew that going to another family gathering without Cora would make my heart hurt.
Well here we are on Easter Sunday. My heart does hurt today and I miss my little girl. But I think that the days leading up to Easter were actually harder than today has been. We made it through another "first" without our Cora. One more little step.
I have been reading through a devotional book and was struck by something that I read recently. I thought about it again today as Joel and I were talking about how the meaning of Easter is so different for us this year:
"There is no tragedy in being ushered from this life to the next when that next life is spent in the presence of God. The only real tragedy is a life that ends without that hope. When a person rejects the free gift of eternal life God has offered through a relationship with his Son, that is a tragedy."
Don't get me wrong. That doesn't make the pain go away. That doesn't make me miss Cora any less. That doesn't make me stop wondering why God chose this path for our family. But, this Easter I have a new perspective. This Easter I have a new reason to rejoice in a LIVING King.
Without Jesus' death and resurrection I couldn't have this HOPE--my faith would be useless. Jesus conquered death once and for all. He did that for you and me, even though we don't deserve it. It is because of His resurrection that I know my Cora is in the presence of God. I can be confident, because I have trusted in Him, that one day I will meet my Savior and be with Cora again. I don't know how Joel and I could keep moving forward without this HOPE.
Today, though my heart is heavy, I am rejoicing in the KING!
Today I am thankful that Jesus has RISEN and CONQUERED THE GRAVE.
Today I am thankful that I serve a LIVING God.
I pray that you too are living with this same HOPE. It would be such a great tragedy to reject this gift of eternal life that Christ so freely offers us.
Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
Romans 6:8-10
posted by the mcclenahans @ 4:18 PM
103 Comments:
What a great post. Thank you (again) for sharing with us.
He is Risen!
AMEN! Thank you for the testimony! Christ is Risen indeed!
Thinking of you and praying for you daily. He is risen! He is risen indeed!
Your blog is such an inspiration. Thank you for writing. I think about you daily and my prayers go out to you and Joel.
Jess...I am sure I have said this before on your comments..but your FAITH is so inspiring. (and I missed all the dresses again!!)
You simply are amazing and I know that God and Cora must be so proud of you. May God continue to guide your path and may you always feel Feel his love. Still praying for you!
Many, Many Blessings!
Beautiful.
What a great post, Jess. Thanks for sharing a bit from the devotional book! Sorry I missed you guys at church this morning. Marc mentioned he had talked with you and Joel. I had gone on home after 2nd service. Hope to see you again soon.
Praying for you. He is still on His throne!
truly your courage is inspirational
Somehow I found your blog through another blog through another...and have been reading for a while and never comment. I know that you will be with your little girl again one day. Families are eternal and not something that ends in this life. There is definately life hereafter. You will be able to be with her and have the opportunity to raise her. I am thankful in my knowledge of a living God as well. It has helped me find hope in all hard times. It does not take away the pain but it does bring assurance that things happen for a reason. That we have a Heavenly Father that loves us immensely. That he knows us individually, that he will not give us anything that we can not carry. Your little girl is with you in Spirit. She has gained the body that she needed in order to return to our Heavenly Father. I really appreciate the quote from the devotional book. I have never thought of that before. Thanks for sharing and your things on Etsy are great by the way. I am thrilled with your success in raising money for the playground.
I have never left a comment to you before, but today I just have to. I live here in Newton, my daughter attends Slate Creek 2nd grade and I have twin girls born March 30, 2008. The only reason I'm telling you is because through the grace of God, you have changed my life. I have started attending church again and I pray for you and your husband every single day! You are an inspiration to me and I can feel your pain for the loss of Cora. God loves you!!!! Keep your eyes on him and thank you for writing!
As usual with tears in my eyes and a very heavy heart YOU have inspired me! Your FAITH and GRACE continue to touch my very soul.
Kim
((hugs)) praising God for you that He extended His grace to help you make it today.
Lizzie
Bless you, sweet Jess! I am SO glad your day was a little less rough than you thought it would be.
Loving you and praying for you as you miss your sweet baby girl.
Thank you for sharing your faith and hope and love with all of us.
Your blog is usually my last stop before turning in for bed... just to check in on how you both are doing :)
Thanks for your words- so full of TRUTH and HOPE! It's sure to make nodding off much easier feeling so safe in HIS promise.
God Bless you guys... you have not been forgotten!
Blessings, Nichole in Tulsa
Thanks for such a great post. This was my first Easter without my Daddy and while that isn't a child, a loss is a loss and those first are truly hard. Like you, today wasn't so bad because I too know my Daddy is with Jesus. I lost my Daddy 4 weeks to the day after I gave birth to my daughter and he loved that baby girl (he had such a soft spot for lil girls) and breaks my heart knowing that she will never know her "chief". But it does make me smile to think that he could be playing with Cora in heaven. =)
God bless!
Beautiful truths that are Life. I thank the Lord and praise Him for holding you up this day and every day. He is an awesome God, and He is using you to bless many. I pray that you will continue to know His great love, His unending comfort, and His tender mercies every morning (both of you). Thank you, God, for giving us Your Son, for rescuing us, and for giving us hope.
Even though I already left a comment, I wanted to add that you (although you don't know me and I don't know you) challenge me to be a better person, a more faithful Christian. For a myriad of reasons I am struggling through each day (wrestling with guilt along the way) and I keep coming back to you and your walk. Your faith. Your sincerity. Your submission. Your relinquishing. I admire you so much. I know it's easy to look at someone through a blog and see "wonderful". I've read your friends blogs and they all agree! At any rate, you seem like one who truly has a faith that cannot be explained outside of God's grace, and I long for that kind of faith and relationship. Well, I just wanted to tell you that. I pray God gives you strength for each new day. Christina
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. As I was holding my son in his room a few hours ago, I sat there and thought of you and Joel...and how much I wished for you that you could be holding Cora today. I am so very sorry for the hurt you feel. I sat there and prayed for you guys, and pictured your beautiful little Cora blowing kisses from heaven to you both. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your devotional with us. It is definitely a great reminder for us all. The way you so humble and courageously share your walk with Christ on this journey is such a blessing. Thinking of you and praying for you.
God Bless You!
I too found your blog off a blog and just wanted you to know that I check in and pray for you daily! I could not imagine the heart ache that you face every day. I once heard, on the subject of loosing a child, who better to understand the pain of loosing a child than God? He sent his son to this earth with the intention of him to be killed. Gave us a sacrifice to make right what we have wronged. There are no words that will help ease your heart, there are no "similar" situations that will make you feel . . . any less pain. But know that God knows first had the pain your experiencing and that he can bring you through this. I will continue to lift your family in my prayers!
Your sister in Christ,
Kammy
A wonderful, inspirational post. Thanks for continuing to share with us!
Beautiful...beautiful. Thank you for so beautifully sharing your heart. Praying God's continued comfort for your sweet family...
Happy Easter to your family, GOD sure does have a way of pulling, draging or carying us through the storms even when they dont make sense....And I guess once again I am to slow to the store to get a dress for my daughter! Blessings to you
Goosebumps Jess. You give me goosebumps.
I'm so blessed to know you, even a tiny bit.
I wish there was something I could do for you. You are such a special person. God Bless you.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful words of TRUTH with all of us. Your strength is amazing to see and can only come from the strength that a RISEN LORD can give.
Our prayers continue for you and your husband.
i am so inspired and full of more HOPE each day knowing that jesus is, was and always will be...and i'm so thankful for your testimony...your revealing of your heart. many prayers for you and joel...and the whole fam and friends.
You two are so strong in your Faith and such a Testament to us all!!!
Blessings and Prayers for you always!!
You were in my thoughts & prayers yesterday ... and will continue to be!!
Bless you both.
Your faith continues to inspire and encourage me.
*Tricia
What a great and timely post. We are Catholic and I have been struggling with my teenage son, trying to get him to go to mass with us (he did go for Easter). I'm continually searching for ways to explain why we go to church. This is a wonderful explanation of why I want him to have faith. Thank you.
I was just thinking of your family & thought I would see if you had written anything recently. Your post is beautiful. You are such an inspiration. I pray for your family all of the time. Thank you so much for sharing.
I have been reading your blog since I heard about Cora going to the hospital initially from an email sent out from KSU Christian Challenge. Your story is touching this mother's heart!
Praying for you. Cora is in the King's hands and one glorious day you will all be together again. Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration. God is using you in mighty ways. Love and prayers..
Marsha in VA
I don't know how anyone faces life in this world without the hope that Easter offers, much less those who face the most difficult of tragedies. I can't imagine anything worse than losing my precious children. You have lost yours, and still you live and you find hope, even in your darkest and saddest moments. That is truly an inspiration to all of us, who also live in this world that's as full of loss and heartache as it is of joy and love. Thank you for sharing Cora with us.
--Kelley in GA
Your faith is an inspiration. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers, too. I thought of you often yesterday. <3
Somehow I do not think we can understand the resurrection in its fullness until we have had "death" come to our hearts as in taking a child. Our 3 yr Joel and your Cora. NOW the resurrection means so much, it is in this divine work that give you and I hope of seeing and being with our little ones again. I read this quote and it is so true; Jesus does not suffer so as to
exclude your suffering.
He bears a cross, not that you may
escape it, but that you may endure
it. Christ exempts you from sin, but not from
sorrow. Remember that and
expect to suffer
-Charles Spurgeon Morning and Evening-- In this life we will have trials to bear, He did, but praise the Lord He has gone before us and by that we can endure with his grace.
Cindy
Thank you for continuing to make sure others hear the Gospel. Your faith is truly inspiring!
Your love for the Lord is so evident and your faith is such an inspiration to me! It's inspiring to see that you choose to "praise Him in the storm"! Be blessed this week and know that many people are thinking of you and praying for you often!
How Great Is Our God!
Tears.Tears for your pain, tears for your stregth. Tears for your selflessness and tears for the truth you proclaimed.
AMEN!!!
HE has risen, INDEED! Still praying for your heavy heart!
Jess, you have a great way with words. As many others have commented, thank you for being so open and honest with us. That is not an easy thing to do. You and Joel are a beautiful picture of faith in the One True God. Thank you for allowing Jesus' love to shine through to all that are around you or read this blog. I think so many are drawn to (and mesmerized by) your words because God's voice and presence are flooding out of you. We all love you so much!
Julie F.
Thank you, Jess, for your insights into Resurrection Day and for sharing your unique perspective. I so appreciate how you live out the grace of God in your life. Thank you for the challenge to those of us who believe and for your compassion for those who are yet without Hope.
Thank you for sharing!! Yes, HE is risen!! I needed this message more than ever today..we just got home from the funeral of our friends' 4 mo. old baby girl that passed away suddenly last Thursday. My heart breaks for you both!! I think about you daily and today,(everyday), Baby Cora was in my mind and heart. Sending all kinds of love from a stranger in Iowa.
Jess,
My heart hurt for you yesterday. I spent a lot of the trip home crying and trying to find the good in what God's plan is right now or was with this.
You always find a way to bring me back to the positive in the Lord. For that I will forever be greatful. It was so good to see all of you yesterday, but honestly I was a bit worried about coming. I wanted to be strong in the fact that I didn't want to cry again, and was worried about Jaylee being there with us when she reminds everyone of the times in the hospital and times with Cora. I didn't want your heart to hurt more by us being there. I will cherish our friendship ALWAYS! When my friends ask about you which is very often, I always say I consider you all to be part of our family now. We are so honored to be in your lives. Thank you for letting us be a part of your Easter and your family. And thank you for showing us the way and light of Jesus. I often wonder and think about why we crossed eachothers paths and I thank God every day that we did. You have shown us how to over come so much and how to trust in Gods path and truth. Please know that we think of you daily and pray for peace in your hearts! Take care and enjoy your new part time job. It will be good for you to see others and to keep busy on those days. We will call you when we come to Wichita. Love you all and hope to see you again soon!
love,
AMIE
I think of you often, and wondered how this first Easter would be. I'm encouraged by your words. God bless you.
you are such an inspiration! i don't know if i would have the same outlook as you if i lost my daughter. god bless you. i miss cora too and i didn't even know her! praying for you today!
Wowsers! Do you think it is even possible to keep Cora's stocked for very long? Not that that is a bad thing I just need to not be so slow!!
hey:) I was reading something beth moore wrote the other day and just really thought about you a lot (which was pretty random since I don't know you!) :) SO I took that to mean God placed you on my heart. I wanted to share with you what I read but couldn't find a way to email you. So here is the link...just scroll down to her april 10th entry-it is called Thinking about Death and Healing. And it was written in relation to it being Good Friday...and a good friend of hers. Any way-as usual she spoke of some powerful things...here is the link.
http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/...then scroll to April 10th
May God continue to show Himself to you through it all.
In HIm,
Heather
amen and amen....and HE...IS...COMING...SOON...
whoot, whoot...our Champion...
blessings,
Sarah
Jess,
Praise the Father for giving you & Joel the strength you needed for another first without Cora... but then, we knew He would.
He's not done with you guys yet. Your story continues to touch and transform.
Hugs,
Christy Klein
I just get touched everytime I read your blog, your faith is such an inspiration, although I can only imagine how hard it must be. Praying for your family always...in SC
You are amazing!! ♥
Praying for you tonight.
Beautiful testimony and challenge, Jess. Great verses. Victory in Jesus!
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing it.
Blessings,
Elizabeth
Thinking of you, Joel and Cora today.
Kim
I share your heartache and Blessing among you through the hoildays.Praying for you and all of us whom share this greif..
I'm continuing to pray for you and your family and with God I would imagine that each first will get a little bit easier and easier!!! We love you1!!
beautifully written.
I'm sorry Cora couldn't be here for Easter with her mom and dad. Once again I find myself crying for your loss and marveling at your faith. I wish I could understand and share that conviction and succor. I continue to read your posts for inspiration...
such a sweet reminder. remembering you and cora this easter. may God give you strength and comfort. Christ has risen, indeed!
Thank you for the well-spoken and beautiful testimony. He lives!
This is a beautiful post. You shared beautiful words and an amazing testimony of your faith. I know everyone that reads this is touched. You are being used by God. Thank you for your faith and your hope. It's incredibly encouraging.
Thank you for sharing your story..May you have peace and comfort.God Bless!
He IS alive! Praying always!
Amen! I so appreciate your willingness to open yourself up and be real with all of us. I'm praising the Lord for your steadfastness in Him. What a testimony to His power and mercy! Truly inspiring.
Like so many others, I appreciate you sharing your faith and testimony of Christ through your tragety- your family is in my prayers, particularly at this Easter time.
I have tears in my eyes as I type this. Not because I am so sad for your family (although I am...I have kept up with your journey) but because I too am so grateful..so unbelievably thankful to Jesus for doing what I could not do. Live a life in honor to the Living God...perfect, pure and holy and then pay my penalty of a life of sin...sins He Himself did not commit. It is mind-boggling. I rejoice with you and know I will get to meet your Cora and you on that great Day... Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Your words are beautiful. I have read them over and over and over, and it is true, you are being used by God. I am so thankful that I found you, for you have helped me find Him! Thinking of you all the time, and praying that you will find peace.
since i am dealing with this first Easter without my mom, I was feeling the same way. I blogged about how I was missing her, because she wasn't with me, but it was because SHE WAS PRAISING THE RESSURECTION IN PERSON!! Wow! So even though i miss her because she is not here, I stand in God's promises that He won't leave me, that His will is perfect, even though it doesn't make sense sometimes, and that He knows better than me.
Thank you as always for sharing your amazing faith and for shining God's light over and over again!
I came to your blog via another I can't remember which one. I am a cradle Catholic, don't attend church any more but know there is something much bigger than us out there.
Your journey is heartbreaking and amazing all at the same time. Cora's life was not in wasted in any sense of the word. She makes us all remember that life is precious and we should savor everyday. I'm a breast cancer survivor so that's really apparent to me.
No other child will ever replace Cora in you hearts or minds but you are such wonderful, amazing people I hope you are brave enough to take the chance again. The world needs more people like you and raised by you. All my blessing and prayers upon you.
You are one strong woman. Thank you for sharing. He is good n it shows all over you. Your lil cora is so beautiful. MY prayers for you n your hubby. YOU are an inspiration.
I'm praying you have a good hearty laugh today. A hysterical silly belly laugh with friends or family that warms your heart.
If not today, then soon.
Thank you for sharing your amazing testimony. God is using you in so many ways! We continue to lift you all up in our prayers.
God Bless,
Rachel James
PS I keep missing all your amazing dresses!
My sixteen year old son went to Heaven Jan 12, 2008. For several weeks all my mind could handle was the fact that God loved me and I would see Peyton again. There were times I thought I would lose my mind wanting to know what he was doing in Heaven. That is a mom's job, knowing what her child is doing and taking care of them. As you wrote about Cora....I miss him so much, but because we serve a living God, we have hope.
We have been through all the "firsts" and it is better. I stay focused on the present, thanking God for what I do have and not dwelling on what we have missed out on. I am sure you have found that writing on your blog helps you do that too.
Much love to you and your family.
Just wanted to let you that i think of you often and pray for you! You are such an inspiration...through all of your grief you have clung to God's Word and that is just so awesome! Always thinking of Cora...
I am yet another stranger following your story. It's been said by so many others, but my heart also just breaks for you and Joel. I've shed many tears for your sweet Cora and cannot imagine your pain. Your amazing faith encourages and inspires me SO much! Cora truly is changing lives! Prayers from Cedarburg, Wisconsin...
Kara
Thank you for your beautiful, gracious message.
hi there, i saw the article on etsy about your family and have ended up reading through your posts of the last few months. my heart breaks for you, but your unshakeable faith in the Lord is truly amazing. i've been listening to a band called waterdeep who have a song called good good end. the main lyric is "it's a long hard road with a good good end". amen. you're walking the hard road, but thank God for His good and perfect end.
Beautifully written. I continue to be called back to your page... to see how you are coping & also to gain strength from your journey. I also continue to lift you up in prayer!
Jess, I believe that was the best presentation of the gospel I have ever heard. Thanks! You continue to amaze me. You are a rock. Thanks for being so vulnerable and real with everyone on your blog You are so genuine with us all. I continue to be amazed how you follow every negative with a postive. You are precious! I strive to be more like you. We continue to pray and ache for you guys. Tell your hubby hello. Andi
Just thinking of you as I often do.... Hoping the days are getting easier.
Thank you for sharing your story, though I am sure it was initially intended for a much smaller audience and with a plot with much less sorrow. Thank you also for your witness. Reading through your experience and the scriptures that you were able to recall as God's reminders of his love and care has inspired me all the more to not only memorize them for myself but to instill them in my young daughter (21 months) so that God can use them to speak into her life in the hard times she is sure to face. I also just wanted to share that as I read the message of Cora’s and your journey in your time at the hospital and especially as I came to the message of her going to heaven, I shared in your grief and cried along side you. I know that you have received so many messages from others, and this one is extremely long, but I felt led to let you know that you and Cora’s life had also touched my life. I will be checking back often as a reminder to pray for you and your husband, for both your sorrow and your strength to make Jesus known, and as a reminder of the work your story so far has brought me to.
Thinking of you, Joel and Cora today, everyday, multiple times a day. Thank you so much for continueing to share with us. Your are such an inspiration to me..
Kim
You are amazing. What an incredible witness you and your precious Cora are for Jesus. You challenge and inspire me.
You are remarkable! I'm praying for your family.
I thought so much about you on Easter morning. My heart ached as I got our little girl dressed for church, and knew that at the same time, you would be sitting in your chapel with empty arms. I appreciate your faith and courage as you maneuver through this experience! Your still in my daily prayers!
I just clicked over from a link from my friend who follows your blog.
I'm so sorry for the pain your family has suffered, but rejoice with you in the hope that you have!
You are in my prayers!
I came across your blog through a follow blogger.... I have been so touched and have prayed for you over the last couple days of reading over your story......
may God heal your heart and know that your daughters life will touch many lifes and bring HIM all the GLORY!!!
I come over here and check on you from time to time...I am praying for you and Joel and am touched by your story. Will continue to hold you up in prayer.
Amy@balmingilead.typepad.com
Paul Tillich says that the central message of Christianity is that love is stronger than death. I continue to pray that will be true for you, because if your love is stronger than her death, how much more so is God's!
Thinking of you today & thinking of Sweet Cora... Hope your having a great day...
Joel and Jess,
Thinking of you and praying for you today.
Thinking of you.
Kim
Thinking of you and praying for you this morning.
Robin
Thinking of you and praying for you this morning.
Praying and thinking of you. That was beautiful.....
Brandi
Praying for joy
You are on my mind and in my heart as well as my prayers.
I have followed your post for some time .. I am a grammy to an 18 month old and you have touched the depth of my soul with your story. Your devotion to Jesus and your trust, honesty, openness to sharing, and your transparency is such an encouragement. I want to be your mom's friend! I am 52 also :) and tell your mom she looks great! And if all that isn't enough, you continue to honor Cora with a playground and raising funds thru your Etsy shop. Y'all are just awesome... I know Jesus and Cora are smiling down on you!!! Maybe Cora's dresses can keep on doing wonderful things even after the playground is finished! Y'all have been such an inspiration to someone who has been in a hole... God uses all things. Praise our Father. Debbie in TN
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