about me
Hi! I'm Jess Mac.
It is hard to know what to tell you about myself. Do I tell you about my four years of teaching kindergarten? Do I tell you about how I grew up a city girl and now am learning how to be a farm girl? My life seemed pretty perfect a few months ago. Everything was going just as we planned as we welcomed our first daughter Cora into our family and I started my full-time job of being a stay-at-home mom. We felt so blessed and were loving life.
But our lives were rocked to the core when our sweet Cora was diagnosed with cancer and soon after went home to heaven. Life doesn't seem so perfect anymore. My husband and I have questioned God and His plan for us more than we ever have before. But through this dark, dark time in our lives God has been so faithful to us. His love and comfort has been truly indescribable.
So, now what do we do? We are clinging to God with all our might and trusting Him as we struggle to move forward. I am married to the most amazing man--Joel. I can't imagine walking this road with anyone else.
We are the same family, living out in the country. My hubby is a farmer and I am excited to go back to my job as full-time stay at home mom very soon. We are welcoming our second sweet Baby Mac into our family in January. Although those things have stayed the same and our lives may return to somewhat normal, our perspective has forever been changed. We are living for eternity now. Living with a hope of something better than this life.
posted by the mcclenahans @ 9:00 AM
16 Comments:
hello. I have spent the last few hours reading your WHOLE blog, watching the video from the funeral and just looking at pictures and seeing your family and reading your story.I dont even know you but I cried as I read this and watched the video. you have an amazing family and your faith in God is AMAZING. thank you for sharing your family on this blog. I am saving this site and will be back :o) God bless you! Thank you for being such an amazing testament to GOD! He is so good, all the time.
My thoughts echo Stephanie's....I stumbled across your blog randomly, and am so thankful that I did. Your lives and your faith are a testimony to God's grace. My heart breaks for you, but I am SO ENCOURAGED to hear you say that you are living more for eternity. May we all be so challenged. Blessings on you and your husband and your new baby. May the Lord bless you Two-fold as he did Job. Blessed be HIS name.
Jess, I first learned about your blog from a mom at our preschool and I have checked your blog daily since. I met you at Cora's playground dedication. you truly are an amazing mommy and I can't wait to hear that baby Mac has arrived. I hope someday we can again meet and share the stories of our sweet babies in Heaven.
Courtney Mayfield
you could also tell them that you are the most incredible, kind and loving person, and that your heart for your Savior is a model for all of us to follow. You could tell them that you are seriously one of the most fun people to be around EVER! You could tell them that you are someone that cares DEEPLY for the ones you love and you show your love in so many perfect ways. And don't forget to tell them that you are just simply an unbelievable friend, who allows the Lord to shine through all that you do, and all those who know you are better and blessed because of you.
But I know you won't say those things about yourself...so I will.
Love you lots Jess!
Hi, I'm a stranger to you too, but a sister in the Lord! I've read your blog for a few months now, since around Mother's Day. I pray for you so often, and especially for the new little life growing in you. Thank you for sharing your testimony, for being vulnerable, honest, raw, and open about your struggle. My brother and sister lost a 2 year old 8 years ago, and they kind of shut out the world for several years. Reading your story helps me understand them a little better.
God gives grace to the humble, and I know He is holding you close right now!
Love and prayers from a country girl living in the city.
Amanda in Texas
this afternoon i heard the song "blessed be the name of the Lord" and have that song on my heart & mind. later in the afternoon i was introduced to your blog from timber's blog. your 11/06/09 has the words to that very song.
i've been reading and crying for hours as i've read your journey with precious cora. thank you so much for sharing your heart and telling of God's great compassion and faithfulness.
will be praying for your family and looking forward to the arrival of your little mac. God's blessing upon your life.
Hello Jess,
A friend of mine sent this link to your blog as she has also lost an infant. In fact, the day you had your playground dedication, her family was hearing the same words you heard. It has been a blessing to me to read your blog and Cora's story. I pray that it will help me to minister to them and to be there for them. I know that it is helping my friend tremendously and as you walk your journey and blog through it, she will be watching and learning too. Thank you for sharing and know that all over the world right now, parents are in the same spot you are. Praise GOD, He knows how to connect those who know, with those who need to know.
I'll be thinking of Cora on Feb 8 this coming year as that is also my birthday!
I have been a follower of your blog for awhile now - since just after Cora died. I have never posted before today. I juat want you to know how much my heart has gone out to you in the loss of your sweet Cora. I can say that even though I have never met her because I feel like I know her through you. I also want you to know how much my heart is rejoicing with you in the birth of Levi! He will never replace Cora - no one ever will - but what a sweet blessing from the Lord. I have cried many tears for you and Joel in your loss but tonight as I read your latest post I cried tears of joy! Levi shares a birthday with my daughter - born 7 years and 1 hour apart :) We were told our daughter would be born with Trisomy 21 (downs) or Trisomy 18 (death). After 10 years of unexplained infertility & 2 adoptions later the Lord had given us this gift - to experience a pregnancy - and we decided not to go ahead with the amnio but just to trust and wait upon the Lord. We didnt understand why this was happening to us. On Jan 2, 2003 when she was born 100% perfectly healthy we cried so many tears of joy. I do understand fear and it can be paralyzing and very scary. I will be praying for you as I know you said in your posts that you have fear in your heart with all the unknowns and fear loss happening again. I dont know the pain of the loss of a child but I just wanted you to know how much I think of you in all you are going through. I think you have an amazing testimony to the Lord and what He has done in your lives. I just wanted you to know too that I am just so happy for your family in this newest miracle in your life. Congratulations!!
Hi Jess,
I just wanted to post a quick note. I have stumbled across your blog again (first starting reading when Cora was ill) but re-found it yesterday. I caught myself up on your life, congratulations on your beautiful baby boy! Anyway, I found your blog through Marie Riley. I believe you and I are about the same age and went through the KSU education program at the same time...you look very familiar. (I graduated May 2004.) Anyway, I just want to wish you the best with your new journey!
Take care,
Lisa Lowman
PS...my picture is on my new blog foundmywaysomehow.blogspot.com if you'd like to see who I am. :)
Hi Jess,
I just wanted to say Hi, and congrats on the new addition. He is so handsome. I saw you and Joel on the 31st I should have said hi but you looked tired. I was going in to see the dr for two week check up, I had a hysterectomy done in december. I pray all is going well at your house. God Bless you guys.
Hello, Jess!
I found a link to your blog through another one that I read and was at first inspired by your post about birthday parties. My daughter just turned 1 on January 14th 2011 and I feel the same way about them. As I clicked around and read more of your story I am even more in awe of you and the strength of your faith.
I'm happy to share my blog with you as well: complexmiracles.blogspot.com
Best wishes to you and your family!
Sara
Hi - I am a random follower of your blog, but I love it and love hearing you talk so honestly about your family, your loss, and your love for God. It is inspiring to me, so thank you, for everything you share. I also wanted to pass on a song I think you might love, and really relate to. You may have already even heard of it, but it is called Blessings by Laura Story.
Anyways - thanks again and congratulations on Baby #3 :)
I have cried through your blog tonight. I am so deeply sorry for your loss as I know you have heard many times. You and your family are such an inspiration to my life. I do not think for one second I will ever take a single moment, or breath for granted. I will smile when my son cries and I will laugh when he screams. there is a reason for everything and there is a reason I stumbled upon your blog. God is good. You are a true definition of how we all should have faith. thank you for sharing your story which I am sure was very hard for you.. God bless you and your beautiful family.
I also echo Stephanie's response. Likewise, I don't know you, but I happened across your blog through something that was pinned on Pinterest; I cannot even remember what I was looking at, as reading these beautifully-written glimpses sure put life back into perspective for me. I, too, cried, sometimes sobbed, while reading your blog in entirety mostly in the middle of the night when my 15 month-old daughter was upset and not sleeping. It's so hard to imagine that my sweet little girl's days are numbered. My husband and I dedicated her to the Lord when she was a few months old, and I realized that I needed to rededicate her in my heart, as God is in control and He has a plan for her life, no matter how few or many days she has left on this earth. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for reminding me to fully enjoy each and every day with my baby, as there is no guarantee of what tomorrow holds. Our prayers are with you and your family.
Stacy
Hi Jess, I came across your blog a month ago,,, it tore up my heart to pieces... I was very upset with the entire ordeal you had to go through. I am a stay-at- home mom to 3 lovely boys, and I know God tests his most favorite creations,,, It is easier said than dealt with I am sure. But you and Joel are role models to us all, you were so strong to have dealt with the pain of losing your angel Cora... She is the most beautiful baby i have ever seen. I wept as I told your story to my husband, who thought it was very sad indeed, but made me feel better by saying "she was a lucky girl, she died in the arms of her parents and family. She didnt die because of abuse." We should always look at worst cases, you did EVERYTHING in your power to help save her. She lived as a happy healthy girl with Parents and Grandparents and cousins who adored her. You were a stay at home mom,,, and she is your first born, everyone takes care of their first borns the most. God had written her life ahead of time, and God is Almighty, All Forgiving, Most Merciful, Im sure Cora didnt feel any pain and you will be with her in the After Life. God bless you and bless your 2 boys and shower your family with HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY, I am so sorry for losing Cora,,, she was a lovely beautiful little girl. God bless
Wow, I was just talking with a friend yesterday about her losing her twin boys at 2wks and then 4wks old and how I lost my brother when I was 15. I can't imagine what you have gone through. Glad to see you and your hubby are doing well. Thank goodness for the plan of salvation is all I can say. I am sure you have been able to help many cope with their losing a child. Enjoying checking out your blog :)
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