The Macs

Saturday, November 13, 2010

thoughts on friendship {kendall}

Meet Kendall (pictured on the far right). I met Kendall six years ago at my first teaching job. I was teaching Kindergarten and she was teaching third grade. We found out we went to the same church and slowly began developing a friendship. About a year later my husband and I were so blessed to be in a small group with Kendall and her husband. That is when our friendship really grew. I have many found memories with Kendall during that newly married, before kids stage. Those were the days of stopping by randomly, going to concerts, taking a weekend trip, and not worrying about getting home before bedtime. Now our time together usually involves holding babies and kids running around our feet. It is fun being able to experience these different phases of life together.

Kendall has such a kind and compassionate spirit about her. She is very of those friends you know you can stop by their house anytime. She would welcome anyone into her home. And Kendall has such a big heart for the world. She is so faithful to pray that the Lord would use her and her family to reach others. I'm pretty sure she would drop everything and move to Africa to run an orphanage if she could. Who knows, maybe one of these days God will open the doors for her to do just that! Kendall shares how God has been working on her heart regarding friendships...

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I am SO glad I had the chance to read this book. I couldn't put Friendship for Grown-ups down! Not only was it easy to read, but it really resonated with me. Friendships--deep, intimate friendships--are something that I have struggled with. It's something that God has been working on in my heart this last year or so--and this book was so timely.

I think what I appreciated most was Lisa's honest reflections and experiences. It was good to learn that this (struggling to grow and maintain good relationships) is normal--but that at the same time, friendships--deep, lasting, intimate female friends--are SO worth the time and effort. As women, we are made for relationships. That's one of the ways we grow, process life and relieve stress!

Lisa’s struggles have allowed her to learn many things about friends. Thankfully, she shared practical ways to grow and maintain beautiful friendships--even for a busy mom and wife! Many pieces of advice were so helpful for me:

*"Not All Friendships Should be the Same"—I realized that it’s okay to have some REALLY close friends, and many not-quite-as-close friends. There are different levels of intimacy AND different connections with each friend. I felt tremendous freedom to find and enjoy friends more for who they are—instead of feeling like my relationships should look just so.

*Practical ways to give and receive—I loved reading some of Lisa’s personal emails and texts. It reminded me that, especially for this busy time in my life (with little kids) I won’t have long hours over coffee each week with a friend. But a simple email, phone call, card or text ARE meaningful, too. I’ve tried to do more of that since reading the book.

*Conflict can be a GOOD thing.--I know this is true because I’ve lived it. It’s HOW you handle the conflict that makes a difference. In reading this book, and in my own journey this past year, I’ve realized that, in times of (real or perceived) conflict, I can avoid the person…or I can pursue them. I can work to resolve the issue and deepen the friendship. I hate conflict with friends—but even more, I hate the lonely feeling of NOT having intimacy. This book reminds me to continue to pursue that. The friendships are worth the effort!

I would definitely recommend this book. If you've ever felt lonely, (even though you have friends!) or wish that you could reach deeper intimacy in your friendships...this is a super book to read to begin that journey. Better yet--read it WITH your friends! What a great way to start that conversation!

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Thanks Kendall! I love the list of practical things we can do to maintain healthy friendships. What are some practical things you do to keep up with your friends during the busy season of life with kids?

Would you like to win a copy of Friendship for Grown-ups? Don't forget to leave a comment on Monday's post to enter the giveaway. 


Blogger Heather said...

Oh I have loved reading each of these...I love that God has put friends and coworkers in my life who can really spur me on. Thanks Kendall! One of God's great kindnesses to me was to be able to teach for a time at SC with you girls!! Love and miss you! Can't wait for heaven!!!

November 13, 2010 at 4:06 PM  

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