The Macs

Sunday, June 21, 2009

daddy's girl

I am so sad for Joel today. I know that today is going to be extra hard for him and there is nothing I can do to make it better. I wish so much that Cora could be here today to celebrate this special day with her daddy.

Cora LOVED her daddy. She was definitely a daddy's girl. I remember watching Joel interact with Cora and feeling like my heart could just explode. He loved her SO was precious. I have so many sweet memories of Cora and her daddy that I will never forget. I know he won't either.

I am so glad that the Lord chose Joel just for me and then for Cora too. I couldn't think of a better daddy for my little girl. And I am so thankful that I will get to see him "feel" like a daddy again in January.

Happy Father's Day to the daddy of a sweet angel and another one on the way!


Blogger Jess said...

It was meant to be! Yes, Cora's time with you and Joel was very short but she could not have been more blessed than to have such loving and dedicated parents. All part of God's miraculous plan. He knew Cora would be the perfect fit for your family and He knew your strength and perservance. God Bless! I will continue to pray for you and your family.

June 21, 2009 at 5:08 PM  
Blogger Misty Rice said...

You guys are the perfect little family.

Perfect parents for Cora Paige.

Perfect one flesh, as husband and wife.

Perfect chosen ones for Gods ministry, although not the road you would have personally chosen for yourselves.

Happy Fathers Day

God Bless you on this day even more.

June 21, 2009 at 5:14 PM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

I have been thinking of you and praying for you guys today, especially Joel. It is my prayer that on this difficult day you were able to find a moment of peace and happiness while remembering your time together with Cora. Happy Father's Day, Joel.

June 21, 2009 at 5:27 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

happy father's day to joel! you two are such a special and sweet couple, and amazing parents to cora and sweet little new baby :) even though it's hard i pray you have a blessed day!

June 21, 2009 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger Courtney Cloud said...

Praying for you both today.

June 21, 2009 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger Melody said...

God bless you both. ((hugs))

June 21, 2009 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

I've been thinking of you and Joel today. Praying that the happy memories will keep you smiling today, but will also be praying as the tears are bound to flow with sadness today as well.

So glad to hear all is going well. I can't wait til' January for you both to experience another little miracle.

God Bless,
Susan in Indiana

June 21, 2009 at 5:55 PM  
Blogger Holly said...

Happy Father's Day Joel!

June 21, 2009 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Trasie Bressler said...

Happy Father's Day Joel!

Many Many Blessings

June 21, 2009 at 6:10 PM  
Blogger Todd and Courtney said...

Happy Father's Day Joel!!!! What a perfect daddy for such a perfect angel and baby on the way :)

June 21, 2009 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger Judy said...

Happy Father's Day Joel! I'm praying that your Heavenly Father will bring you an extra measure of comfort today!

June 21, 2009 at 6:24 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Happy Father's day, Joel! I know it will be a hard day for both of you. Please, tell Joel that I will say a special prayer for him today. Love you guys!

June 21, 2009 at 6:30 PM  
Blogger Mrs. MK said...

Prayers for you as there is so much to process.....I am so happy that there was some good news! And a heartbeat and a beautiful photo!

June 21, 2009 at 7:15 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

I have similar feelings knowing my husband will never be the daddy he wants to be. Someone i work with just had a daughter & i'm so happy for him but my heart nearly breaks as he talks about her smiles & giggles, knowing this will never come to my dear, sweet husband.

Praying for your pregnancy & continued sadness.

June 21, 2009 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger meg duerksen said...

i'm sorry if i made too light of it all this morning.
i cried all through church behind you if that means anything...feeling sad that this IS what it IS.

love you both.

June 21, 2009 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger hoosier68 said...

What beautiful words and picture! You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

June 21, 2009 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger Courtney and the Boys said...

Praying for you and Joel on this difficult day....

June 21, 2009 at 7:33 PM  
Blogger aimee said...

Hi Jess,

I've read your blog since Cora first got sick but only occasionally comment. Why, you may ask? Because I can't find the right words to tell you how your family and your love for the Lord has inspired me, and everything I write seems cliche. I decided that I am going to comment more often because even if I say the wrong thing, or say the same thing that others have said, you will know that there is one more person praying for you. You will know that there is one more person who makes a point each morning of not taking her children for granted. That is how you, and sweet baby Cora have both impacted me.

Today must be so hard for Joel, and for you as well. I always find that when my husband is hurting, it makes my heart just break because I want to make it better and you can't always do that.

I was so happy to hear that Cora will be a big sister. She will be so proud to play on her big sister's playground someday!

Take care,

P.S. The picture of Joel and Cora is great. My absolutely favorite part is her sweet wrist's just so precious!

June 21, 2009 at 7:38 PM  
Blogger Claudia said...

Oh you can see and feel the love on the picture and in your words ... happy Father's day to him.

June 21, 2009 at 7:47 PM  
Blogger Utecht Family said...

I always loved to see Cora in Joel's arms. She looked so safe, secure, and loved. And Joel - growing up I always knew you were really fun and had a great sense of humor, but I didn't know what a soft heart you had until I saw you holding your baby girl. You are blessing to Jess and will continue to be to the children God gives you!

June 21, 2009 at 8:10 PM  
Blogger madelyn said...

simply beautiful

June 21, 2009 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Praying for you today!!! Happy Fathers Day Joel!!!!

June 21, 2009 at 8:46 PM  
Blogger Alli Unruh said...

Jess, what a special post and honor to Joel. Daddy's really are special! You are such amazing parents and people. I have been following your blog, and it continually challenges me, makes me cry, and uplifts me all at the same time. Praying for a healthy pregnancy for you.

June 21, 2009 at 8:55 PM  
Anonymous Maria Hanson said...

I love this blog, this post. You are so honest, it's just beautiful. Even though we don't "know" each other, I think about you guys and pray for you. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us.

June 21, 2009 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

First of all, I love that picture of Joel and Cora! It gives me goosebumps just looking at it! What a good daddy his is. I'm sorry that this day has been rough. My heart aches for you, and yet, at the same time it jumps for joy over your new little miracle! Still praying for you!

June 21, 2009 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Danyele Easterhaus said...

perfection for you all...happy fathers day. btw, my paige, 14, just screamed, "YEAH" when i told her of your newest addition news!

June 21, 2009 at 9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Father's Day Joel. I am so happy to hear that you both are expecting a baby in January. God Bless you all.

June 21, 2009 at 9:35 PM  
Blogger Marla Taviano said...

Praying for Daddy Joel as he misses his first baby and eagerly awaits his second.

Praying for both of you!!

June 21, 2009 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Happy Father's Day to the "green Mr. Joel!" :)

June 21, 2009 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Such a beautiful picture of Joel and Cora. Little girls have a way of wrapping their daddy around their little fingers. I've been thinking of you both all week. Praying for you both.

June 21, 2009 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

That has to be the sweetest Daddy/Daughter picture I've ever seen!!

June 21, 2009 at 9:58 PM  
Blogger onlymehere said...

I thought of you both today and said a little prayer. Cora is still your baby and you're right, she's your angel. God bless you all. Cindy

June 21, 2009 at 10:45 PM  
Blogger Ruthie said...

Happy Father's Day Joel. I am praying for you both as you process and walk through this journey. As I read your words from your last post my heart just about burst feeling such sadness for you both as your continue to miss Cora and such joy over the news of your new child. I am praying that God is able to guide you as you move forward without Cora here, but still making her a big part of your life and always a part of your family. She is yours, then, now and forever!

June 21, 2009 at 10:56 PM  
Blogger Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Happy Father's Day Joel!!

God bless you guys.

June 21, 2009 at 11:07 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

Those memories are so precious, I cannot even imagine how much...
What a beautiful picture! Absolute sweetness. I will never forget listening to Joel speak at Cora's service and being so amazed at the strength the Lord gave him. A blessed dad, and a blessing to others as well. Peace to you!

June 21, 2009 at 11:15 PM  
Blogger Falling Around said...

I thought of you and Joel often today and whispered many prayers. I'm sorry Joel had to be without Cora today... I'm so sorry for you both.

Christy Klein

June 21, 2009 at 11:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY JOEL! I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that your Cora was clapping in heaven today for her Daddy. Congrats on the new baby Mac...he/she is getting a wonderful set of parents.

June 21, 2009 at 11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Daddy sometimes it seems as if we leave you are just as prevelent in our thoughts and prayers.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY JOEL! What a remarkable Dad you are...the new baby Mac is so blessed to have you for Daddy and Jess for a Mommy. I hope that you did find some joy in thinking about the sweet times with your Cora!

June 21, 2009 at 11:52 PM  
Blogger wicker0407 said...

Happy Father's Day Joel this must be so hard but I am sure Cora is looking down from heaven with a smile and is so proud of her daddy. My thoughts are prayers are still with you all the time!
Summer & Family in California

June 21, 2009 at 11:55 PM  
Blogger Candice said...

I'm so sorry Joel and Cora couldn't spend the day together as I'm sure you imagined. I still pray for you guys regularly, and now for you growing baby. That baby is going to be so loved...what a blessed little child.

June 22, 2009 at 2:22 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

You can see in his face through all your photos, just how much he adores sweet Cora. I thought about him / you yesterday. Still praying...Jenny

June 22, 2009 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Joanne : The Simple Wife said...

Just want you to know that Joel especially was in our prayers yesterday.

So much love,

Joanne and the Heims

June 22, 2009 at 7:28 AM  
Anonymous Robin in Benton said...

Belated Happy Fathers Day Joel. Hoping that the smiles from the memories at least equaled the tears that I'm sure this day brought. I'm sure that a certain little angel was there to kiss them away. God bless you guys and new baby Mac - praying for all of you.

June 22, 2009 at 7:57 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I am so glad that you have those precious memories of Joel and Cora that you can keep in your heart and mind forever. Continuing to pray for you all!

June 22, 2009 at 7:58 AM  
Anonymous Karina said...

What a beautiful photograph of Joel and Cora! I thought of Joel yesterday. My heart still breaks for you two. Many hugs...

June 22, 2009 at 8:47 AM  
Anonymous PK said...


June 22, 2009 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

So sweet! Hold the memories close to your heart and make many more with the little one to come!

June 22, 2009 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Polka Dot Moon said...

Precious Cora. Precious Photo. New Precious Life.

Thinking of you and always saying a prayer for all!

June 22, 2009 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger Tricia said...

Happy Father's Day, Joel.
You are now and continue to be one of God's chosen. You are a father forever, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you love your Sweet Cora more than air. All of the photos that you all have shared show that . Your love for Cora oozes off the screen, and now another lucky baby will get to have you too.
Love and prayers,

June 22, 2009 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger The Mershawn's said...

Happy late Father's Day to your Joel.
We're still praying for you. My heart just hurts for the 2 of you.... God loves you, though. Keep remembering.

June 22, 2009 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger Madison Sanders said...

Happy Belated Father's Day, Joel!

You are blessed to be a father one more time. I can't to find out what it is!

June 22, 2009 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Praying for you and the heartache that you constantly faced with...

Praying for the happiness to relieve some of that pain...

Congrats Mama... & Happy Father's Day to Joel.

June 22, 2009 at 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Cristy said...

((Hugs)) Joel.....


June 22, 2009 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I thought about Joel a lot yesterday. And I had no idea that another sweet baby was on the way.

oh wow...

lots of tears over here...

God bless you all

June 22, 2009 at 5:50 PM  
Blogger Lacie and Stephen said...

Happy Father's Day Joel!


June 22, 2009 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger Brian and Staci said...

We've been moving...I've been such a bad blogger but I still pray for you daily :) This is my first time to read in sooo long...I'm just now getting to hear your sweet blessed news!!! Congratulations! I'm so very excited and happy for you both!!!!

June 22, 2009 at 9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pray that yesterday was peaceful for you, Joel. The Lord is good.

June 22, 2009 at 10:57 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I am so touched by your story. It saddens when when I realize that we have to deal with these things in life. But you have hope in the Lord and the promise that you will hold her again one day. I am praying for you and your husband and your little one on the way! I too am pregnant, 12 weeks and also due on Jan. 2!! I will be following your journey and lifting you in prayer! Blessings to you!

June 23, 2009 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Jaime said...

Just as so many others, I have read your blog and been so touched and inspired. Your faith is an example to so many and I just wanted you to know that your names have been lifted up in my prayers so many times--and will continue to be through your pregnancy. Congratulations and what a sweet post for Joel. God IS good!

June 23, 2009 at 9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read your blog faithfully---yet it seems to be mostly a 'girl' thing to respond. However Joel has taught me and many other fathers what it means to realize that our children are a gift from God and that they are on loan to us. The fact that you are still believing God and that you are not bitter is a great affirmation of God's goodness and reality in your life.
thanks for your story and for sharing it so willingly.

June 23, 2009 at 1:54 PM  
Anonymous heather said...

You have some incredible pictures of your beautiful Cora! Precious.

June 23, 2009 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

I am a new blog reader of yours, and I just want to say your words have touch my heart and so has sweet Cora. Thank you for sharing your story and I look forward to hearing about Cora's sister or brother. God Bless you!

Oh and I am from Topeka, so hello from only a couple hundred miles away....or so.


June 23, 2009 at 5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this from someone else who leaves comments here... just blog hopping... but I thought it was precious.
"Rainbow babies: In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as 'Rainbow Babies.' The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm.'Rainbow Babies' convey the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope....

-Andrea Sanmiguel

"(12) And God said, 'This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: (13) I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between you and me and the earth......" Genesis 9:12-13
God made a "promise" that he would never again flood the entire earth. Now, I know that the rainbow in the case of "rainbow babies" is not necessarily a promise that it will never happen to one of us again. I do know that we have an even greater promise from God. A promise that through the death of His son, we have a home in Glory someday where we will see all those who have gone on before us.
I remember the day that Cora was buried and it rained this hot rain like tears from heaven for the two of you, and afterwards one of the most beautiful rainbows... I thought of it as a promise from God, to you... Perhaps it meant something different to the two of you, but to me that was what it meant.

June 23, 2009 at 8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have followed your blog for months. I always felt so sad for you and thought I could never imagine what you must be going through. Then, through different circumstances, I lost my baby girl 5 weeks ago. Your blog, I think, was sent to me those months ago so that I would not feel so alone when my "time" came. Thanks so much. And we will try again for a healthy baby in the months to come. It will be quite hard. Anyway, I now know (unfortunately) that there is comfort in comraderie (sp?) so I thought I would tell you that you have company in your journey. Peace to you, Susan I know you have so much support and a ton of friends but if you need anything my email is

June 23, 2009 at 9:32 PM  
Blogger Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Thinking of you and praying for you tonight before bed.

Enjoyed talking to you today.

And I'm already curious what you're going to name this new baby. Does that make me weird? No wait... lots of other things make me weird.

But I'm so excited for the time comes when you announce the name! :) Boy or girl, I'm just giddy for you.

June 24, 2009 at 12:03 AM  
Blogger Teresa said...

So been waiting for this for you. I am very excited for you and will be checking back often. I came across your blog, not quite sure now how, but anyway I can remember the bruise under Cora's eye and you saying not sure how that happened, and I kind of thought that was an indicator, but never imagined things would be so short. I have cried for you and prayed for you. God has a plan for us and we may not always want to follow this plan, but it is not our choice. Continue to look for God for guidance as you are doing. Your blog inspires. Be Strong.


June 24, 2009 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Because of Cora's story, I now appreciate what a gift my children are. I don't think I truly realized how blessed I was. Thank you for sharing!

June 24, 2009 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger mommyoflove3 said...

I have been following your blog for awhile and pray for you often. I am so glad to hear the news about the new baby on the way. I will continue to pray for you as you deal with so many emotions while grieving the loss of your precious Cora and preparing to welcome her little brother or sister. God bless you!

June 24, 2009 at 9:01 PM  
Blogger Natalie at Our Old Southern House said...

I've never commented before, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you all during this happy, sad, emotional time! god bless you all!

by the way, i love all your cute items on etsy! unfortunately, when i went to order something for my little one they were all sold out. will you contact me at my blog: or at next time y'all add some things? thanks! ...and again, god bless!

natalie (ntcooper528 on etsy)

June 24, 2009 at 10:06 PM  
Blogger Townsendpartyof5 said...

I check in on you every day... and consider you a friend - one I've never met, but care for and pray for every day. Sending you continued love and prayers from Illinois.

June 25, 2009 at 7:52 AM  
Anonymous Robin in Benton said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you and Baby Mac. Take care -

June 25, 2009 at 8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found your blog late last night. What a beautiful little girl you spent 11 months with. Cora was only 2 weeks younger than my own daughter. I sat in her room last night and watched her sleep and I just cried for you. I dont even know you but I pray that you have a healthy pregnancy and a happy and healthy child.
Prayers from Boston MA. ~ Meg

June 25, 2009 at 2:35 PM  
Anonymous leah said...

congrats joel and jess on expecting a new little one we hope all goes well
love you and God be with you

the millers

July 6, 2009 at 5:12 PM  

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