look who made it...

...to the top of the blog!

I love this one of Cora & Levi.

My two sweet babies.

I wish I could see them as brother and sister.

And it kills me that we can't have a "complete" family picture.

I feel like I have our family picture with Cora,

and our family picture with Levi, 

and there should be someway to combine them.

Not like combine them with Photoshop.

Really combine them.

But I can't.

I think that will always be hard for me.

So, Levi is now part of the blog banner.

Some of you have been bugging me to add him for weeks now.

And I want to assure you that it wasn't because it was too hard 

or I didn't want him up there that his pictures didn't get added right away.

It was purely procrastination on my part.

I don't know how to change the banner myself.

(I need someone to teach me all those tricks!)

And it took me awhile to get the pictures to Danielle.

I love seeing him up there now too.

Just like all of you!

Thanks for making Levi part of the blog banner Danielle!

grammy

Today is Grammy's birthday.

I am so thankful for my mom.

And that my kids get to grow up so close to their Grammy.

Cora loved her Grammy.

They were buddies.

And I know Levi is going to love hanging out with his Grammy too.

Happy Birthday Mom!

sharing my story {with you}

I have been very hesitant to post this.
In fact, I had decided that I would NOT share this on my blog.
Not because I don't like you all...I do.
But because I was scared.
Scared that you would think I have this grieving thing all figured out.
I don't.
Scared that you would think I am promoting myself--like I know everything.
I don't.
And scared that maybe someone would ask me to speak again.
I won't.
Just kidding...I might think about it. :o)

But as I shared this audio file with some dear friends and family,
men and women who I respect and have been so faithful to pray for me,
they all kept encouraging me to share it with you.
Because one of my readers might need to hear the truths
that God has been teaching me on this journey through sorrow.
And because it is an opportunity to share the love of God with SO many.
It would be crazy not to do that, right?

So, I have really felt prompted to share my story with you.
You all are such an encouragement to me everyday.
I love that.
I pray that the Lord would use my words to encourage you today too.
Because God's truth is relevant...
for ALL of us...
no matter what you might be facing today.

This is the audio file recorded when I spoke
to a women's group two weeks ago.
You can listen here.

farming

I have a feeling my little man is going to be 

spending lots of time with his daddy in the future.

Learning how to be a farm boy of course.

But for now, we just visit daddy.

Joel is busy planting corn these days.

They work pretty late, so Levi and I went out to visit him in the field.

Otherwise, Levi might never get to see him!

Joel told him all about his fancy new planter.

And his green tractor.

We like our tractors green, right Levi?

And Levi even got to go for his first tractor ride.

No smiles.

He was too busy checking everything out.

About five minutes into our ride 

the sun was going down and Levi fell asleep.

I am considering sending him out to the field for all of his naps.

Maybe that would solve our cat-napping problem.

Poor Joel got the flu yesterday.

Planting and the flu is not a good combination.

I'm just hoping Levi and I don't get it too!

levi {three months}

You are three months old...

This is you at three months.

*

You have found your hands. They are in your mouth all the time. And you are grabbing at everything, especially your toys.

You definitely know your mama and daddy. You give us the BEST smiles!

You are wearing size 3 diapers and size 3-6 month clothes. 

You weigh 17 lbs 6 oz. You are so heavy that I can barely carry you around in your car seat!!

You are a super sleeper. You are already sleeping through the night. Sometimes even 8-10 hours. You still are not very good at naps though.

You like to be rocked. I love that.

You are starting to be fussy in the evenings, but bath time always saves the day. You love your baths.

I think you are just about to giggle. You are so close.

At three months, we love you lots.

cora's for calla {wrap-up}

What started out as a little idea Grammy and I had...

turned into Cora's for Calla.

Together we were able to raise $4,365.66.

All to encourage the Johnsons.

And to help sweet baby Calla.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It was so fun to be able to give this money to the Johnsons.

They were overwhelmed by the love shown to their family!

I am SO sorry it has taken me this long to get everything wrapped up.

It took me way longer than I thought to track down 

all the auction winners and get payments finalized.

Everything is officially done now.

Yeah!

Thank you to the wonderful vendors

and their generous donations to Cora's for Calla.

I have included a list of links for the vendors who participated.

You can bookmark this post and 

use the list for your shopping in the future!

Festive Frills

The Little Sweet Pea

The Spotted Lily

Leah LaRae Baby

Madivia Designs

Brag Bling & Bows

Hope Springs Designs

Amanda Smith

Southern Baby Boutique

A Cherry On Top

The Cottage Petaler

Creative Glory

Babycakes Art & Design

Gracious May

The Design Girl

Minky & Me

Caroline's Label Shop

LNZart

Stellajade

Vintage Rummage

Stella Ruby Collections

Cleta's Treasures

Cottontail Creations

Sew Happy

The Other Blueberry

Two Little Tots

Ranee Browkaw

The Chica Boutique

I think I got everyone on the list.

but just in case I forgot...because that is possible,

please let me know.

easter

Our Easter...

We thought Levi needed a sock monkey in his Easter basket.

I know he is really too young to care about an Easter basket.

But I wanted to do something for our little guy.

It looks like he was pretty excited about it too!

Ori (Calla's big brother) and Levi matched at church.

We thought they needed their picture together.

Levi wasn't so sure...

Of course we had to have a cousin picture.

And a family picture.

Mr. Levi loves his daddy.

He was pretty handsome in his little Easter outfit.

And look at those cheeks.

Just like his big sister.

It was a good day.

We loved celebrating with our little man.

And we rejoice that HE LIVES!

We cling to this HOPE as we miss Cora on these days.
Not just on Easter, but everyday.

And in case you are wondering, Levi's outfit is from...

shirt...baby gap

pants...old navy

shoes...target

And he looked just as cute as all the little girls! 

sharing my story {for real}

I hate being in the spotlight. I'd much rather stay "behind the scenes". I was one of those little girls at my piano recitals whose hands were shaking so much, it was hard to get through the song. I still have dreadful memories of my college speech class too. I was SO nervous. It was a small class...I don't really know why it was that bad. But every time I gave a speech you could see my notecards wiggling because of my shaking hands. And my shaky voice was awful. I was so thankful when I passed that class. And I remember telling myself that if I got through that class I would never have to speak publicly again. After all, it was NOT something I was gifted at. If only things always went according to our plans, right?

Well, this week I had the opportunity to share my story...
FOR REAL.

I was really tempted to tell my friend that I wouldn't do it. Remember, public speaking is NOT my thing. But Joel told me I really should say yes. And as I prayed about it, I thought how ridiculous it would be for me to pass up an opportunity to openly share to lots of people the things that God is doing in my life. God can work even through my shaky voice.

So, I said yes.

I have been preparing for weeks. And I was surprised by how good it was for me to put on paper some of the things God has been teaching me. It even helped me understand better what He has been teaching me. I loved reading through the verses again that spoke such truth to me during those very dark days after loosing Cora. And I was reminded once again how trustworthy God is, even when I don't understand the things He is doing in my life.

A few of the ladies at the church prayed with me before the morning started. And SO many of my friends and family prayed for me throughout the morning. I am so thankful for that.

It is crazy for me to see myself on a stage in front of people like this. I told the ladies that before Cora died, I would have told them that there was no way that I could keep going if I lost her. And I would have laughed if they would have told me that not only would I live through it, but I would be given enough strength to stand in front of them and share about it that morning. That is the power of God being made perfect through my weaknesses!

So, I am thankful to have that behind me. And now I am just praying that God will use my words to speak His truth to someone who needed to hear it that morning.

Life is feeling a little back to normal now. Levi is having some major congestion this week. He has his first baby cold. Poor guy! So I have been giving him some extra love. But, I have lots of things to share with you including Easter pictures and the final numbers from Cora's for Calla. Lots to come...

everything is different

I wasn't expecting Easter to be so hard this year.
We already made it through the first Easter without Cora.
Levi is here this year.
I told myself it would get better.
But I was wrong.
This week leading up to Easter has been really hard.
I am missing my little girl.

I went shopping this week to find an Easter outfit for Levi.
Mental note: 
Avoid shopping in the spring.
The little girl dresses are so stinkin' cute.
They will make you sad.
They will make you miss Cora.
You will probably cry in the middle of the store.
And then you will have to quickly walk away
because people are staring at you.

Let's just say that I might have picked up a pair of baby Easter shoes
that looked like some that Cora had and started crying.
I did.
Right in the middle of Target.
Joel told me that I need to stop looking.
But I can't help it.
Why do silly things like that make me so sad?

So as I've been feeling a little blue this week,
I have also been thinking about how thankful I am
for what Easter really means.
Easter means that everything is different.
And it is not because of the eggs and bunnies and darling little dresses.
It is different because of what Christ has done for us.
It is different because He LIVES!

I loooove this song.
I have been listening to it over and over again this week.
Blaring it through my house.
And while I am sure that there will be some tears today,
I am thankful that He promises to one day turn
my weeping into joyful noise!



Happy Easter!

Oh, and if you are wondering...
I did find something for Levi to wear.
I promise I will refrain from putting him in a dress.
And he will still be just as cute as all the little girls!