2009 or 2010?

I really thought that Baby Mac might decide to come in December.

Cora was early, so I had my hopes set high.

But I think he/she is content just waiting.

Still nothing happening.

I have another appointment this morning,

so we will see what the doctor says.

It is hard to believe we have made it through nine months. This year has been so hard, and honestly sometimes I miss Cora so much I haven't even been able to think about this pregnancy or the new baby.  But now, at any time, we are going to be meeting our second child.  It is a weird feeling because I finally feel like Joel and I have figured out how to function in a somewhat graceful way (at least some days) with our new normal.  And now everything will be changing again--but this time a welcome change!

I think we feel so excited, yet so scared at the same time.  We are scared of moving forward without Cora.  Scared that people will think we are "better" now that we have another child.  Scared of loving so deeply again.  Scared of ever having to watch a child suffer again.

But we know it will be SO worth it.  This little baby is such a blessing to us already during an incredibly dark time in our lives.  And God does not call us to live in fear.  Will you pray for us as we take this next step forward?  It is probably silly for me to even ask because I know you have been so faithful to pray for us already.  We are praying that we will embrace the fullness of who Jesus is--the ultimate answer to our deepest needs.  Whether we are in the hospital saying goodbye to our sweet Cora or in the hospital welcoming a second little miracle, He is faithful and by our side.  Our circumstances can change in an instant, but He never does!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

As we get ready to welcome Baby Mac into our family and approach a new year, may our lives OVERFLOW with hope!

rockin' grammy

After Thanksgiving my brother-in-law brought

ROCKBAND over to my parents house.

He had bought it for super cheap at a Black Friday sale.

We all loved it.

We were hooked.

Especially my mom.

My brother-in-law was kind enough

to leave it at my parents' house for us all to enjoy.

Little did we know,

my mom played even when we weren't there.

She was even caught practicing the drums

into the wee hours of the night.

So, when Christmas rolled around,

my dad decided she might need her own ROCKBAND...

She was SO excited when she opened it.

Who ever thought that a grammy would want ROCKBAND for Christmas??

We even found a ROCKBAND t-shirt for her.

My niece got a ROCKBAND t-shirt too.

We spent a lot of Christmas day rockin' down the house.

It was fun.

Lots of good memories and good laughs.

There is nothing like a rockin' Grammy!

Oh, and someone was wondering about these bats.

They are called Mashoonga! Sabers.

My mom got them at Sam's Club.

They are supposed to be for safe, competitive, contact play.

I am not sure if there is anything safe about this picture.

Maybe they are not meant for grown men!!

At least we know how to have fun, right?

our christmas

We spent Christmas Eve at my parents house...

Celebrating my nephews first birthday,

eating sausage subs (yummy),

and spending lots of time together.

Christmas morning we were back at my parents...

eating breakfast together,
stockings,
opening presents,
building a gingerbread house,
eating more food,
celebrating Jesus' birthday,
and spending more time together.

These bats were one of the major highlights Christmas morning.
Every time one of the boys would get up it would turn into this.
Thankfully pregnant ladies were off limits!

Saturday we celebrated Christmas with Joel's family...

eating breakfast together,
stockings,
new bikes for the kiddos,
eating LOTS of good food,
reading the Christmas story,
opening presents,
and spending lots of time together.

This Christmas was hard.  It still makes me so sad to look at all of these pictures and know that Cora should have been a part of these memories.  I wondered so many times what it would have been like to wake up with her on Christmas morning or watch her playing with her cousins.  We would have had so much fun.  But we were blessed in so many ways this Christmas.  Our families are so wonderful and our time together was great.  And, like so many other times this year, we felt the indescribable joy and peace that only comes from our Lord.

And...
We are still waiting to meet Baby Mac.
He/she apparently did no want to come for Christmas.
Nothing is happening yet.
Just waiting.
We will keep you posted!

merry christmas

We are missing Cora like crazy today...

...but we are rejoicing with our little angel that He has come.

We are rejoicing in the good news of great joy--Jesus.

The angel reassured them. "Don't be afraid!" he said. "I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior--yes, the Messiah, the Lord--has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 

Luke 2:10-11

Merry Christmas!

true joy

I smiled to myself when I opened my HOPE book last week and realized the topic was joy.  It was just what I needed to read because I definitely am not feeling very "joyful" this Christmas--at least not in the way the world would define joy.


"The truth is, it is possible to be filled with joy and still not be described as "happy." Sometimes we're just plain sad, not only down in our hearts, but down to our toes...


...The Bible says, "A joyful heart is good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22, NASB).  As we savor the joy we have in Christ, we feel the healing power of that medicine.  In fact, our joy should be as consistent as God is.  It doesn't have to be tied to the turbulent conditions of our feelings and moods.  Our joy is grounded in God.  It flows from him and back to him.  Joy is not something we can generate with positive thinking or a bit of humor.  It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit's work in our inner lives.  Joy shines forth from the life of the true believer, no matter how dark the circumstances.  Joy in God deserves our constant, courageous pursuit." -Nancy Guthrie

How reassuring is it to know that our joy isn't tied to the sometimes turbulent conditions around us?

It isn't tied to how sad I am feeling as we prepare to celebrate this first Christmas without Cora. It isn't tied to how my heart hurts when I see all these happy Christmas cards and realize again that there will be no family pictures with Cora this year. It isn't tied to how sad I am that Cora won't be here to welcome her new brother or sister with us. It isn't even tied to how much love we will feel when we meet Baby Mac any day now. True joy does not necessarily equal happiness.

My joy is grounded in Christ.
And I can experience deep joy, even in the midst of sorrow,
because my hope is in Christ.
That doesn't mean we won't have any tears or sadness.
But, I pray that this true joy is what others see shining from my life and family,
even during this first Christmas without Cora.

Always be full of joy in the Lord.  I say it again--rejoice!  Philippians 4:4

DIY {christmas gifts}

Here are a few of the projects I have been working on.

Both of these ideas came from Ashley Ann's blog.

It is one of my favorites.

You should definitely check it out.

Candy Caddy

Ashley made one of these for her husband when they were remodeling their kitchen.  I adapted the idea to give as Christmas gifts.  Each bottle in the caddy had a verse about joy on it.

I also made a few individual bottles to give out as gifts.  A candy caddy would be great gift for so many things.  You can find the directions here.

Clothes Pin Magnets

This was the best part.  My sweet husband helped me glue on the magnets so that I wouldn't have to inhale all the fumes.  That was really nice of him because he HATES crafts.  Apparently the magnets I bought were a little too strong because they kept all sticking together while he was trying to glue them on.  I tried to help, but I think I made things worse.  So, I just stood back and laughed as he yelled at the magnets.  I am sure he really appreciated that!

I was going to stamp on the cardboard (like Ashley did), but couldn't find my alphabet stamps.  So, I just printed off the same label I used on the candy caddy.  Another cheap and easy Christmas gift!  You can find the directions for the clothes pin magnets here.

Oh, and I made some little clothes pins too.  I used these ones to hang up all my Christmas cards.

I had a few questions about some of the other projects from our craft retreat.

You can find the directions for the photo tile coasters here.

And most of the girls were using blurb for their blog books.  I have never made one, but it is on my list of things to try!

Happy crafting!

craft retreat

This week has been crazy and emotional (that seems to be a trend lately).

My heart has been heavy for many reasons.

So, on a lighter note, I thought I would show you what I did this past weekend.

I spent the weekend in this lovely house.

With eleven other lovely ladies.

It was my first craft retreat and it was well, lovely!

I packed up all my crafty stuff.

Joel thought I was moving out, but I couldn't leave anything behind.

I had several projects in mind to work on.

My main goal for the weekend was to work on Cora's scrapbook.

I never started one for her.

I have wanted to finish her book before Baby Macs arrival.

But every time I would start looking at pictures, it was too hard.

I couldn't do it.

I would just cry.

This weekend forced me to print of pictures and get started.

I know that I will be so thankful to have this.

I was reminded of how many precious memories we have with our sweet Cora.

 I was a little worried about going on this retreat.

I hadn't been away from Joel since Cora died.

I didn't know if it would be too emotional to work on Cora's book all weekend.

And not to mention I was nine-months pregnant.

Joel had just pointed out to me how loudly I had started snoring at night.

I was a little worried about that too!

But my friends graciously let me have the one-person room.

That way I wouldn't have to bother anyone!!

While I was scrapbooking, the other girls were working on so many fun things.

Like these coasters.

And these drawing notebooks.

Wrapping presents and listening to Christmas music.

And even working on blog books and Christmas cards.

I worked on a few other projects too, like this one.

I'll tell you more about it soon.

And Cora's book...

It isn't done, but I got a good start on it.

Maybe I will share that with you sometime too.

etsy

I just posted a few more Christmas items (sorry it is not much).

If you order today, I will get your order in the mail tomorrow morning.

We were hoping to post one more time before Christmas, but it is not looking like that will happen.
We have some great new stuff in the works...
Look for it sometime in late January after Baby Mac is born!

please pray

I know there are so many prayer warriors out there.

You have covered our sweet Cora and our family in prayers so many times.

And now I need your help.

Will you please pray for my friend Julie and her family?
Julie was my college roommate and a dear friend.
She is 26 weeks pregnant with a sweet little girl,
and her body has gone into pre-term labor.
She is in the hospital and they are doing everything they can
to make their little girl stay put as long as possible.
I know they are trusting God with each minute,
but when it is your child it is SO hard to have things out of your control.
Please join me in covering them with prayer.
You can read more and see specific prayer requests on Julie's blog.
We love you Julie and are praying, praying, praying!

more water

Hopefully you have seen the button on my sidebar.

Project 320 is having huge giveaways starting TODAY.

And all you have to do is donate water.

The goal is to build a well.

We can do it!

Here are the guidelines, straight from the project 320 blog...

How is this going to work?
We are so excited for the week to begin.
The outpouring of love and support for what seemed to be an impossible idea has been amazing.

An entire village will be changed.
The course of history will be altered for good.

Because of you.

We are immensely thankful.

Beyond what we could hope or dream.

Here is the fine print:

Not only do we have 15 bundles,
but each bundle has over 20 items.
Triple our goal!

Starting on Monday at 6 a.m. Pacific time we will post three bundles each day through Friday.
Bundles of amazing.


How bad do you want to win right now?

Well here is how.

First:
Donate HERE.
For each $10 you donate you will get one entry into the bundle of your choice.
If you donate $50 you get 5 entries.
1 comment = one entry.

Second:
Come back and choose what you would like to win.

If you have already donated, thank you so much! You are ahead of the game. You now get to choose which bundle you want to win (and comment under.)

Each entry should be left in the comment section below the bundle that you would like to win.
You don't have to have a blog to enter.
You do need to leave your first and last name as well as your email address.
Here is an example:

Each night at midnight Pacific time all entries/comments will close.
At that point, random.org will choose a winner for each bundle.
After donation verification, winners will be posted on the sidebar.

Be sure to check back to see if you are a happy winner!
(Project 320 winners must reside in the US.)

getting ready

Only three weeks left...

Everything looked good at my appointment yesterday.
And I am even feeling a little more prepared for the arrival of Baby Mac.
My mom and I tackled Cora's room this week.
I was SO hard to go through all her things.
Toys, books, blankets, clothes, hair clips...
So many of those things I hadn't really looked at since we took Cora to the hospital.
So many memories came flooding back.

I was so thankful that my mom was there to help me.
To cry with me when I found things that made me burst into tears.
And to help me just keep going.
I think I would have been tempted to shut the door and not face it when I really needed to.

Before we went through anything, we just cleaned the room.

I wanted to leave it just like it was and take some pictures.

I don't think I ever took any pictures of Cora's room when we finished it before she was born.

I had wanted to add blue or pink later since we didn't know if she was a boy or girl.

I wanted it to be perfect first, and of course it never was (at least I didn't think it was).

These were Cora's three favorite things.

Her blankie.

Her pacifier.

And her dog book.

Joel read this book to her every night.

She would reach out and touch all the dogs.

And she would giggle and giggle when Joel made the dogs bark.

It was so cute.

I put these three things in a box along with some other special things of Cora's.

We even managed to get the bassinet sheets, blankets and burpies washed.
I think everything is almost ready.
I need to pick up a few things like diapers...
Otherwise, I think we are as ready as we will ever be.
Nothing like preparing for a new baby in one day!

Please pray for us as we prepare to meet this little one.
The past few weeks have been emotional for many reasons.
We continue to seek the Lord for renewed strength to get through each day.
How thankful we are for His unfailing love and comfort to us!
We wouldn't be where we are today without Him.

saturday

On Saturday the girls drove out to a little town not too far from us. We wanted to try out a new Christmas tradition.


I had heard about a wreath making class and decided to sign us up. It was worth a try, right? We started out with fresh greens, a wire circle, clippers, and a roll of wire.

My mom, sister, and three sister-in-laws sisters-in-law came along.

We had a great time. And our wreaths didn't turn out too bad. This would definitely be a fun thing to do every year.

There was even a little Christmas cheer for Baby Mac.

After the wreath making and a little Christmas shopping at the nursery, we drove to another little town for a Christmas Soiree. We had fun looking around, but walked away empty handed. It was time to eat. My pregnant tummy was hungry!

After lunch we hit one more antique store. I found a great ceiling tile and a cute little turquoise table for my mud room.

The Christmas trees and joy ornament were from the nursery where we made the wreaths. And that great blanket was made by my mom. I snagged it from my grandparents who just moved here! We stopped by their apartment to help with some unpacking on the way home.

It was a great Saturday. Thanks for starting a new Christmas tradition with me girls!